a failure of sorts

[rone]

I almost got fired today.  I begged for my job back and i got it.  Now i'm on double-secret probation.  I don't know if i want to stay here anyway, because my boss is a cranky old fuck who denigrated my work.  My co-sysadmin has my back and i greatly appreciate it.

I feel humiliated because i begged for my job, because i felt i had to beg for it.  I busted my ass today working like i haven't in years.  My boss thinks "being on call" means "being no farther than five minutes from a computer".  He found my playing soccer and seeing friends for brunch in SF somehow indulgent and irresponsible.

I've had bouts all day where i suddenly scrunch up my face and rub my brow and eyes, like some primal part of me wants to cry but isn't connecting to all the necessary parts.  Until recently, my head was filled with garbage impulses about what to do next.  Right now, i'm only thinking about it so i can write this down.

My boss said that he thought my effort so far was negligible and that his workload wouldn't change if he fired me and replaced me with someone off the street.  I think i earned some of this with a less than assertive work ethic, but he better think again if he thinks i'm going to let him do that to me again.

Comments

PFFFT

[ottobeatriscuit.livejournal.com]

Bullshit. You need time for leisure. It makes you a grounded, sharper employee. Hell, everyone knows that. Hasn't the guy read anything in the last ten years?

[nothings.livejournal.com]

Man, sorry to hear that. *Hugz*.

[internebbish.livejournal.com]

The crappy job karma seems to be making its rounds this week. Good luck. Oh and your boss is a tool.

[rimrunner.livejournal.com]

Dude. What the fuck. That's ridiculous.

[rbarclay.livejournal.com]

Isn't being on-call somehow defined in your employment contract? Back at $ISP it was "must not leave pager and mobile alone for over 30 minutes, must not leave them in no-reception areas for over 30 minutes, must be able to get to office in 30 minutes max.". And even if I did stretch the latter sometimes by visiting relatives 60 km away, it was an ok definition.

And if your boss thinks his workload wouldn't change if he fired you, it smells like he doesn't know about how to distribute and coordinate work.

[lusercop.livejournal.com]

This seems to me to be a question of value and worth. These days (now that I put almost all of my spare time into juggling), I value my spare time very highly. I almost always take a full hour lunch break (as it is in my contract, and in my case, under the European Working Time Directive), and I try not to stay too late as I go juggling 3 nights a week (during the weekdays). My bosses have tried to get us in at short notice at weekends, and let's just say that in general, the carrot has to be pretty large.

I've heard of various degrees of on-callness before. Most of them stop you drinking, which, must, by its nature have a value - it's something you enjoy and therefore your employer must compensate you for that (during the day, they compensate you for that in the course of your normal wages, by buying your time from you). For our on-call sysadmins, there is a company-owned laptop and 3G/GPRS data card, which might be something you could ask for for those times you're on-call, and then you can go to brunch, having the laptop in your bag (get them to get something small), and at worst, you can excuse yourself for 5 mins while you log in and see what the problem is.

Basically, though, you're not a failure - and it sounds like your boss doesn't understand the value you put on your free time, in which case, you have to make this clear to him, and isn't supplying you properly with the tools you need to do your job.

Good luck with it getting better - I'm sure that he'll realise the real value of a ronebofh soon enough!

[lusercop.livejournal.com]

what's defined and expected will often differ, because 95% of the time, it's a better response than that, and people then get irritated (even if you're within the terms of your contract) for the 5% where the response is not as good.

The over 30 minutes thing is all very well, but I hope that the compensation was worth it. (There are lots of things that I can see that stopping me doing)

[ltempt.livejournal.com]

Utter bullshit from your employer. I'm on call most of the time; I have a 30 minute respond / 60 minute onsite agreement. That's fine; I can deal with that. I've also always got a secondary on call in case I can't respond to the call.

There are people in our organisation who are / have been on a higher level of call, where you are expected to stay with your computer at all times and travel with a laptop and GSM card for data connection. They get paid almost double for this inconvenience.

I'd say ... screw it. Look for a new job, get a new job and enjoy the cheery sense of role reversal when you resign. If your management thinks they can replace you instantly, let me try it when you find something else.

Any job that elicits feelings like "some primal part of me wants to cry" isn't worthing sticking around at. I find it bad enough that my job makes me want to hurt/kill/maim people on a daily basis.

[ltempt.livejournal.com]

(Or there is the option of drinking on call, and turning up to the machine room waving a bottle of scotch).

[rbarclay.livejournal.com]

The compensation sucked, of course, employers being what they are it was the legally required minimum (something like $2/h pre-tax IIRC). And yes, it stopped me doing lots of things. Still, the 30 minutes were defined and not once did someone complain about me stretching it to the limits.

[nixzusehen.livejournal.com]

time to start looking.

We may need more people over here soon. Send me a resume if you're interested and I'll see if there's a fit.

[sandollar17.livejournal.com]

:-/

[merde.livejournal.com]

it's definitely time to get out of there. find another job. working for a manager who doesn't value your skills is a miserable way to live, and working for a manager who doesn't respect the fact that you have a life outside of the office is even worse.

frankly, i think he was very unprofessional in the way he spoke to you, and if i were you, i'd be inclined to see my HR rep. it sounds to me like this guy has no actual training in management, nor does he have the personality for it. he'll demoralize all his employees, make the working environment unpleasant, and end up lowering productivity in the long run.

you probably shouldn't do it until you've already got something else lined up, but do have a chat with HR before you leave. it's a good thing for the company to know if a manager is being that much of an asshole; if they get additional complaints, he'll probably get fired himself.

commiseration and stuff. we should imbibe sometime. 2wanda too!

[pvaneynd]

You remind me soo much of zoutke the last few months at her old job it is not funny. I told her to get out, any job that degrades you to that degree is not worth it. Her boss thought that talking like that would 'motivate' and 'encourage' her. As far as I can see she is now a lot happier without a job :-S.

Anyway, I'm only unofficially 'on-call' because if they would put it in writing I would make a lot more. So they call on the 'professional attitude' that is in the contract. As a "professional" I think that his requirement can only be met with having a GRPS/laptop combo or you getting payed 100% for the time oncall (as far as I understand this actually is the law over here).

Call his bluff, at least here IT is picking up again, let him replace you with another warm body and see how easy it is (hint: not). Go back as a contractor for N times the pay as a final insult.

We had examples of that at the colo facility at Netaxs

[mouseworks.livejournal.com]

Guy was the closest hand-on person the organization had -- and that was because he was down the street at the stripper bar, I presume. Or at least a bar.

I had a boss, in another business, who didn't believe I needed to do anything other than work for him -- weekends, nights. He even wondered why I did my laundry on the night we put the paper to bed (because I was in town and theoretically had between 5 and 8 off and did't have a washing machine or indoor plumbing at home). I quit when he said he was considering giving me a raise or firing me if his son wanted my job. Another reporter ended up being told that he couldn't work for the guy and keep his health. The guy ended up going bust, sold the paper back to the guy who'd owned it before. Last time I saw him, about ten years later, my former boss was distributing newspapers for another paper (i.e., a paper boy).

The idea that anyone is supposed to be always working tends to really be corrosive.

Re: PFFFT

[sagespot.livejournal.com]

Exactly what I was going to say!

[catbear.livejournal.com]

Lots of support here. We've all dealt with jackass bosses who treat people like machines and whack them with hammers to fix.

Sanest responses are to 1) start looking and take the next job that is a good fit, and 2) while you are looking, re-read your employment contract and job duties and make sure you fulfill them to the letter, but no more unless duly compensated. If your boss gives you crap in the meantime about things that aren't spelled out precisely, make him specify them so you know exactly what's expected. Even "professional behaviour" needs to be defined in terms of duties, accessibility and response time.

Starting a journal of communication with your boss is a good idea -- it won't save /your/ job, but when you leave provide it to HR and maybe the next guy that comes along will have an easier time of it.

If it's a small company and everyone in power are buddies and the HR hat is worn by someone just to satisfy state requirements, you're basically fucked. I've worked for places like that, too. Cover your ass, and get out while you're still sane.

[twillis.livejournal.com]

Well, crap. I must say I don't like the idea of your boss abusing you like that. That's our job, dammit!

That's really ridiculous, on so many levels. You're allowed to have a private live. Your boss has no business making insults like that; he's supposed to act like an adult speaking to another adult. He sounds like a bit of a bully.

I notice our job board does have some computery-like openings in California. Not sure if they'd be your thing, or if they're even local to you, but let me know if you want me to submit an "eReferral" for you. This company is not perfect, but it does respect the fact that one has a private life (and regards it as something important for being an effective employee).

Grrrrrrrrrrr.

[opadit.livejournal.com]

I would echo what catbear says, and also that I sympathize because your story reminds me of the weekend that my boss called my cell and home phone because he thought I was up to shenanigans with his five-figure retirement fund deposit check. He also tried to bully me into staying to the end of June even though I've given him notice that I'm leaving after I complete the May billing.

I've had a few friends who are on call. It can be pretty soul-draining.

Re: We had examples of that at the colo facility at Netaxs

[ltempt.livejournal.com]

Ha, I've turned up to machine rooms quite sozzled a number of times. It usually involves being not on call but the only one who can fix the problem. I remember turning up and opening my backpack and the beer glasses we'd pinched from the bar we just left rolled out. Aah, good times.

[hwrnmnbsol.livejournal.com]

That's the thing about bad bosses: sometimes bad things happen to them. Just out of the blue, a bad boss will be walking down the street, and then WHAMMO! a dumpster falls on the guy. Falls RIGHT OUT OF THE SKY, on top of him, foom, dead. Very sad.

Much sympathies -- for you, because you don't deserve this, and for him, because he's a bad boss, and sometimes bad things happen to those guys. I'm just sayin'.

I have to say I'm encouraged

[vardissakheli.livejournal.com]

by all the people saying "you don't have to take that." My Big Imployer has always been pretty insular, but whereas before 1992 it insulated us from the harshness of the outside world now it insulates us from pretty much anything good. I've been lucky/unlucky enough to be in love with my work, have reasonable bosses and until last year a dogged fighter for a team leader, and dodge all the layoffs so far. I'm terrified by the idea that in the next year or so I'll need to start looking for a job for the first time in my life (and develop some saleable skills before doing it).

Re: I have to say I'm encouraged

[twillis.livejournal.com]

I've been laid off three times, and each time I wound up better off.

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

Thanks, but aren't you in Japan?

[2wanda.livejournal.com]

The company is a start up, and their HR rep is nothing but an admin with knowledge about benefits. Ron's boss has a track record, we found out through the geek grapevine, of being an asshole, and I don't think any amount of management training is going to help him. Basically, since there is no real HR in this company, he has no avenue for complaint. Damn start-ups.

Everything else you say here is what I said the moment I heard about this from Ron. The way this guy handled his dissatisfaction with Ron's performance was way out of line. He has said other things over the last two months that were similarly egregious. He's a dick, plain and simple. I don't even think Ron's friend who got him this job realized what a dick the guy is, but he sure does now. Too bad Ron didn't know that before he accepted the job.

I've encouraged him to start looking for another job now, even though he is working to try and remedy the situation at work. It will add extra stress on top of what is already going on, but I don't really want him working for this asshole for too much longer. I don't need my husband to be coming home every day all tied in knots because he has this sort of thing hanging over his head all the time. Fuck that!