a failure of sorts

[rone]

I almost got fired today.  I begged for my job back and i got it.  Now i'm on double-secret probation.  I don't know if i want to stay here anyway, because my boss is a cranky old fuck who denigrated my work.  My co-sysadmin has my back and i greatly appreciate it.

I feel humiliated because i begged for my job, because i felt i had to beg for it.  I busted my ass today working like i haven't in years.  My boss thinks "being on call" means "being no farther than five minutes from a computer".  He found my playing soccer and seeing friends for brunch in SF somehow indulgent and irresponsible.

I've had bouts all day where i suddenly scrunch up my face and rub my brow and eyes, like some primal part of me wants to cry but isn't connecting to all the necessary parts.  Until recently, my head was filled with garbage impulses about what to do next.  Right now, i'm only thinking about it so i can write this down.

My boss said that he thought my effort so far was negligible and that his workload wouldn't change if he fired me and replaced me with someone off the street.  I think i earned some of this with a less than assertive work ethic, but he better think again if he thinks i'm going to let him do that to me again.

Comments

[merde.livejournal.com]

it's definitely time to get out of there. find another job. working for a manager who doesn't value your skills is a miserable way to live, and working for a manager who doesn't respect the fact that you have a life outside of the office is even worse.

frankly, i think he was very unprofessional in the way he spoke to you, and if i were you, i'd be inclined to see my HR rep. it sounds to me like this guy has no actual training in management, nor does he have the personality for it. he'll demoralize all his employees, make the working environment unpleasant, and end up lowering productivity in the long run.

you probably shouldn't do it until you've already got something else lined up, but do have a chat with HR before you leave. it's a good thing for the company to know if a manager is being that much of an asshole; if they get additional complaints, he'll probably get fired himself.

commiseration and stuff. we should imbibe sometime. 2wanda too!

[2wanda.livejournal.com]

The company is a start up, and their HR rep is nothing but an admin with knowledge about benefits. Ron's boss has a track record, we found out through the geek grapevine, of being an asshole, and I don't think any amount of management training is going to help him. Basically, since there is no real HR in this company, he has no avenue for complaint. Damn start-ups.

Everything else you say here is what I said the moment I heard about this from Ron. The way this guy handled his dissatisfaction with Ron's performance was way out of line. He has said other things over the last two months that were similarly egregious. He's a dick, plain and simple. I don't even think Ron's friend who got him this job realized what a dick the guy is, but he sure does now. Too bad Ron didn't know that before he accepted the job.

I've encouraged him to start looking for another job now, even though he is working to try and remedy the situation at work. It will add extra stress on top of what is already going on, but I don't really want him working for this asshole for too much longer. I don't need my husband to be coming home every day all tied in knots because he has this sort of thing hanging over his head all the time. Fuck that!

[twillis.livejournal.com]

Yeah! There are MUCH BETTER reasons to have one's husband tied in knots!

[2wanda.livejournal.com]

Exactly!

[arian1.livejournal.com]

I thought he liked to be tied up...

[samantha2074.livejournal.com]

That's a shame. One of my first thoughts was that this guy can't have followed proper procedure, otherwise Ron would have had some official warning that he was on probation before (almost) getting fired, but from what you say, there's no procedure and assholes can run wild.

I also agree with the folks who say that a smart company knows that their employees need adequate free time and well-rounded lives. I hope Ron's able to find an even more kick-ass job somewhere else and leave this jerk behind.

[asienieizi.livejournal.com]

My first thought was he was a control freak as well as unprofessional, but I think you said it better than I:

"He's a dick, plain and simple."