rone | Entries tagged with language

Gods damn it all, i hate 'lol' with the burning of a thousand suns; it is the fucking turd in every online conversation, even when used in irony.

That feeling when you Google an app's error message and all you get is links to the app's source code.

"Oh, don't worry about optimal layout, it's just a POC cluster."
Four months later: "Why is our dev cluster so crappy?"
And this is why Daddy drinks.

Before enlightenment, chop confirmation bias, carry compassion.
After enlightenment, chop confirmation bias, carry compassion.

Whoever thought playing "Hollaback Girl" at an Easter egg hunt breakfast was appropriate needs to reëvaluate their life choices.

Current Music: Volcano Suns - Total Eclipse

We don't have a quote-unquote dominant team...

JESUS CHRIST ON A VT100. It's bad enough when people actually say "quote-unquote" (as opposed to saying "quote, this is a quote, unquote", or in this case, the more correct "so-called" or the pretentious but accurate "soi-disant"), but when someone writes it instead of using, you know, quote marks, it's just another paving brick on the road to hell.

Current Music: Simon & Garfunkel - Bridge Over Troubled Water

Futurama Fry: NOT SURE IF HUNGRY / OR JUST BAJSNÖDIG

Google Translate tells me that "bajsnödig" in Swedish means "poop NECESSARY". Yes, with the capitals. Swedish must be a more expressive language than i thought. Can any Swedes in the audience confirm this? Especially the ALL-CAPS part.

Current Music: Bob Mould - Heartbreak a Stranger

Onomatopizza n. pizza that sounds as good as it tastes.

Current Music: The Black Keys - Lonely Boy

[SFX: didgeridoo]

ANNOUNCER: Huh ta speak Ostrayleen.

[Sleazy guy walks up to well-endowed woman and puts both hands on her breasts.]

ANNOUNCER: Multi-touch interface.

[Woman knocks out sleazebag with a right hook.]

ANNOUNCER: Haptic feedback.

[Enormous can of horse piss is slammed on the counter.]

ANNOUNCER: Beeah—*BZZZZT*GAAAH!

Current Music: Noe Venable - Tower

Rampant misuse of 'ETA': the A in ETA stands for 'arrival'. Some coworkers use it when they mean 'completion', 'delivery', or 'repair'. Wikipedia alleges that it may be used "metaphorically" or that it could stand for "achieve[ment]", but this smacks of backformation and must be shunned.
"Let's take this offline": this means either, "Let's discuss this over private email instead of boring everyone on the CC list with the details," which is stupid because the discussion will still be online, or, "Let's discuss this once the meeting we're sharing with other people is over," which is stupid because, unless the dialogue is occurring between people on a conference call, you're already offline.

Think. Use the right fucking word, every time. Only good things can happen.

Current Music: Orchestra New England - Set of Four Ragtime Dances: Ragtime Dance No. 4 (Allegro)

When i think about it, Ash Wednesday sounds more like a Norse holiday.

Current Music: Trey Gunn - Arrakis

If a barrel of monkeys is a lot of fun, but it's bad when someone has you over a barrel, what's it like when someone has you over a barrel of monkeys?

If it's your turn to be in the barrel, that's very bad; but what if it's your turn in the barrel of monkeys?

Current Music: King Crimson - Dangerous Curves

augery n. the act of foretelling the future via a hole drilled in the space-time continuum

Current Music: Rusted Root - Primal Scream

It seems preposterous, and yet there is not a single Google hit for the droll lexical construction "Gloucesterfuck".

Current Music: She Wants Revenge - First, Love

If you individually translate the words in the Spanish translation for the phrase "still life" back into English, you get "dead nature".

Current Music: Gustavo Cerati - Naturaleza Muerta

Billy O'Connell, Kristin Hersh's husband and manager, has coined the following term:

IMbush v. to interrupt or virtually 'jump' someone when you spy their IM status change to 'available'

Current Music: Hüsker Dü - Never Talking to You Again

Billy O'Connell, Kristin Hersh's husband and manager, has coined the following term:

IMbush v. to interrupt or virtually 'jump' someone when you spy their IM status change to 'available'

Current Music: Hüsker Dü - Never Talking to You Again

badorkadork n. a dork who habitually makes a huge ass of himself (and it's almost always a "him"; for a famous example, see Richard M. Stallman).

Current Music: dredg - Scissor Lock

badorkadork n. a dork who habitually makes a huge ass of himself (and it's almost always a "him"; for a famous example, see Richard M. Stallman).

Current Music: dredg - Scissor Lock

For those moments when "couldn't care less" just won't do, J. D. Falk conceived the terminally descriptive "This one goes to mehleven."

Current Music: Bill Whelan - Macedonian Morning

For those moments when "couldn't care less" just won't do, J. D. Falk conceived the terminally descriptive "This one goes to mehleven."

Current Music: Bill Whelan - Macedonian Morning

Nix: So if I wanted to get really *fast* at wiiing (damn horrible made-up words that don't fit English)...
Steve VanDevender: You took a noun and added "-ing" to it to make a verb. What's more English than that?

Current Music: Audioslave - The Last Remaining Light

Current Music: Audioslave - The Last Remaining Light

This report yielded an amusing pun:

Brazilian bloggers are now posting a banner with the words “Não vote em branco” — a phrase which carries the double meaning of “don’t cast a blank vote” and “don’t vote for a white person.”