entombed in the shrine of zeroes and ones

Let's be clear: i don't like The Oatmeal.  I found Matthew Inman's humor juvenile but inoffensive at first; even in the cartoons that had material that i liked, his delivery seemed off in the way that the dorkiest of nerds have when they overtell or overexplain a joke.  He finally lost me with his issues-revealing Utilikilts cartoon, and that's colored everything else that i've had the misfortune to witness (and you'd call me an idiot for continuing to follow links there, and you'd be right).  His approach to things in his life is relentlessly adolescent, and his current comic about how HBO has forced him to torrent the "Game of Thrones" series, which has been pounded across my social network with much delight by my so-called friends, is a prime example of this: entitlement and rationalization in the face of unenlightened self-harm (and, yes, the fact that it's about the much overrated "Game of Thrones", which book many of my friends inexplicably love and consequently turned them into morbidly obsessed fans of the HBO series, doesn't help).

Here's the thing: HBO doesn't owe anyone the "Game of Thrones" series outside of the terms in which they make it available (i.e., pay a shitload of money a month to the local cable monopoly and be glad that they deign to convey their munificence to your hovel).  Is Inman truly advocating that we should we bend or break the rules every time an incompetent business doesn't offer us their product in a timely fashion after we've declined to adhere to their idiotic terms and conditions, simply because we really, really want it?

If you're going to torrent it, torrent it, but don't waste time rationalizing it.  Just because the MPAA is acting like Javert doesn't mean that you're Valjean, and "Game of Thrones" isn't a piece of bread.

Because i could not stop for death, i bought some to go.

What the world needs is a first-person shooter version of Dig Dug.

Working in the data center is like hanging out in Darth Vader's chest.

When i die, i hope to have a funny look on my face.  When the rigor mortis sets in, people coming to my funeral will say, "Wow, Mom was right."

You know the human race is a fucking failure when there's such a thing as a "blogging Lifetime Achievement Award".

Yo mama's so ugly, she can't masturbate anymore `cause her clitoris got a restraining order against her.

There is no 'i' in 'team', but there is an 'eat' and a 'me'.

Consider, if you will, the potential of Dr. Phil/Jim Cramer erotica.

Dear President Obama: stretching out a hand to Joe Lieberman should only happen when your arm fully extends as you backhand him across his Droopy face.

Thank you for reading.  Check back again in three years for more Twitturds.

Nix wrote:

One person at work keeps a file named -i in important directories on Solaris boxes, just to catch rm *'s in them.

Do they keep an extra pair of underpants in their car in case they shit themselves on the way to work?

jacksonpublick brought me this amazing exercise of nerd power by the legendary John Hodgman.

After a few days of use, it's evident to me that the reason why they called it Evolution is because it's far away from intelligent design.

I'm not a man who's prone to laughing at stuff that's supposed to be funny.  I will smile, even chuckle, but true laughter happens sparingly.  So when i tell you that there's some mad Englishman on the arse-end of the world who reviews video games in such a manner as to make me laugh hard at least once during the 3-to-4 minutes each review lasts, well, that's because he's one funny motherfucker.  Yes, i'm talking about "Yahtzee" and his work that he calls "Zero Punctuation".  His savaging of the state of gaming-based Webcomics paralyzed my diaphragm and left me gasping for air.  The fact that i'm reading the preceding paragraph in a Yahtzee-like voice in my head is proof that his style is pervasive and that my brain is irrevocably broken.

en_ki posted a couple of videos regarding the state of our civil rights when it comes to being visited by the police (plus a couple of apropos links).  It's well worth the 49 minutes that both take to watch, if you can spare the time.

The difference between the almost right word and the wrong word is the difference between the lightning bug and getting hit by lightning.

ronebofh: You know, i keep seeing the expression "bedroom community" written about posh neighborhoods that are mainly residential... what would a "bathroom community" look like?

2wanda: Probably like Los Baños or Drain.