entombed in the shrine of zeroes and ones

2wanda and i flew to Seattle on Friday to attend the nuptials of rimrunner and the darkly funny Mr. Darcy.  We caught up with her relatives Gary and Marguerite (who are friends of Bill Rieflin, and i just had to drop that name because i think it's pretty damn cool), who happened to feel unwell enough to skip the Mariners-Athletics game that night, so we went in their stead.  Not the best of games, but it was close until the end.

On Saturday, we spent the morning shopping.  I'd had an idle interest in a Utilikilt for some time, but i never wanted to spend that much money until recently.  The trip to Seattle came at a good time, because the kilts are made there, so we went to the store in Pioneer Square and were enthusiastically helped.  After that, we went to the John Fluevog store and Kimmy bought a pair of red shoes.  With my kilt instead of pants, and her sandals instead of boots, we managed to stay cool on a sunny afternoon where the ceremony was wonderful, the couple was beautiful, and the guests were all well dressed.  I was far from the only bekilted attendee (rwx also wore one), and it was, all in all, a wonderful event to wear a skirt in public for the first time.  The kilt really is everything they promised it would be. It's a hefty garment that is very comfortable and i was a little disappointed the next day when i put my jeans on.

At the reception, we shared a table with xythen and cor_tenebrarum, who were delightful people and a delightful couple.  In lieu of champagne for toasts, Tokaji Aszú was served, which idea i heartily endorsed (up to and including drinking the Tokaji left behind by the other guests at my table... whoo!).

I still feel quite at home in Seattle, despite not having lived there in over 14 years.  I realized that part of it is probably the sight of Mount Rainier to the south echoing the sight of Cotopaxi (see icon) to the south of Quito.  I wish drivers in Seattle used their turn signals, though.

I regret not being able to see more of my Seattle friends.  I hope to correct this soon.

In case you've never seen a mere mortal try to catch a knuckleball, Jim Caple dons the tools of ignorance to try to catch R. A. Dickey's pitches.  Dickey was a curiosity when he hit the majors a few years ago because his pitching arm does not have an ulnar collateral ligament (what's replaced in Tommy John surgery); he was either born without one, or it disintegrated early in his life.

That's right, babies; it'll be spring this weekend, and baseball starts the week after that.  I'm in two fantasy baseball leagues, one with jwgh and another with a bunch of dorks from PROTRADE.  WHEE FUN

I wanted to remark on two things that happened in the past ten days:

• Shysterball analyzes George Mitchell's report on the use of performance enhancing substances in baseball.  It is impressive that the sport thrives despite the persistently incompetent leadership displayed by the Players Association and Major League Baseball.
• The Lakota have officially withdrawn from the treaties they signed with the United States and have technically seceded.  I have no idea what's going to come of this; there doesn't seem to be any traction on this story in the mainstream media, but i suppose that it is the holiday season.  I am personally curious about this because it seems that this is the only way a legal secession could happen in the US; also, i'm wondering just how far Russell Means and the other activists and leaders have thought this through in regards to logistics, how much due diligence was done, and so on.  I wonder how well South Dakota will take this, given that Lakota territory is effectively the western half of the state.

cda

crisper

deirdremoon

tronpublic

ray_ratto injects sanity into the Barry Bonds indictment circus.

I've been saying it for a long time, and i'll say it again: Bonds is going to skate.  Too bad we can't get Selig/DuPuy and Fehr/Orza indicted for dereliction of duty.

At Esquire, Scott Raab gets his rant on:

Why Bud Selig lets the Yankees turn the 7th-inning stretch into a faux-patriotic ritual — not so incidentally forcing the opposing pitcher to wait an extra five or so minutes while the microcephalic Ronan Tynan quavers his meandering way through "God Bless America" — is a mystery. No other team or town pulls this sort of crap. It's no tribute to America — it's a tribute to George Steinbrenner's sense of entitlement and his monomania, and it's a disgrace to the game.

If another team pulled this on the Yankees, Steinbrenner would raise hell, and he'd be absolutely right to do so. And if the Yanks' pitchers could miss bats the way Tynan misses notes, the Yanks might've had a prayer against the Tribe.

And that's all the gloating I intend to do. There are Clevelanders like Steinbrenner — whose idea of manhood is bullyragging, boasting, and buying respect — but most of us know that sportsmanship means winning and losing with as much dignity, perspective, and grace as one can muster.

In other words, fuck the motherfucking Yankees. In their house. With Paul Byrd. With Joe Borowski. With Rudy Giuliani in his precious little VIP box. With Rocket pouting, feet up in the trainer's table's stirrups, as the team gynecologist pries apart his Hall of Fame labia. With the dickweed Michael Kay babbling about how the Yankees are the better team.

Right. It was the gnats. It was A-Rod. It was Bruce Froemming. It simply isn't possible that the better team wasn't the Yankees, because that simply can't be true in Bombersworld. Just count the ringzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Bye-bye, you sorry bastards. Oh, and God bless America.

In 10th grade, Justin Verlander didn't have 50 cents for a chocolate milk.  So he made an arrangement with his friend, Daniel Hicks, that if Hicks gave him 50 cents, Verlander would give him .1 percent of his signing bonus.  Verlander was drafted by the [Detroit] Tigers out of Old Dominion [University], got a $3 million signing bonus and Hicks picked up $3,000 for the glass of chocolate milk.

• Warren Ellis brings us a disturbing answer to a troubling question.
• iayork could've been the coolest Dad ever.
• E. Howard Hunt died three months ago, and talked about LBJ's involvement in the assassination of JFK.
• "I have a great idea.  Let's rebuild the Internet from scratch!"
• Baseball might be getting rid of its longest-used performance enhancer, but in the meantime, the one undetectable performance enhancer might not be all that enhancing.
• Fox News never fails to disappoint: "Could [Seung-Hui] Cho have been possessed by the Devil? Could that explain the massacre at Virginia Tech?"
• The US Court of Appeals for the DC Circuit has decided that the bit in the Second Amendment about "a well-regulated militia" was just fluff.  This is a complicated one, because i don't disagree with the decision, but i'm not crazy about the way they got there.  I wonder about how laws like Minnesota's Personal Protection Act can help Americans be responsible gun owners, and what the effect of these laws are (and, Seth, if you happen to be reading this, you're still a douche).
• This one's a real corker: Jundallah, a wholly owned subsidiary of Al-Qaeda, has been receiving carefully funnelled financial support from the United States and is fighting the Iranian government.  Follow all the links.  You know what?  Nothing surprises me anymore.  All of my predictions have come true.  At least we have the liberal media hammering the ... oh, wait, a Blue Angel crashed.  Sorry, where were we?

Florida Marlins 2006 Opening Day players payroll: $14.9 million
Bud Selig's 2006 compensation as Major League Baseball commissioner: $14.5 million

CNBC's Darren Rovell talks about it.

Rule changes: Batters must keep at least one foot in the box throughout an at-bat or it's a strike; with the bases empty, pitchers must not wait more than 12 seconds between pitches (once he has the ball) or it's a ball; no more stepping into a dugout to catch a foul ball; and no more tie games that are suspended because of weather being played over — now, they'll be resumed from the point of stoppage.

firejoemorgan brings me this marvel of snark:

I'm musically reminded of the Godspeed You! Black Emperor song "This Opening Sentence Stinks Like A Stinky Person's Stinky Ass" (warning: song may not actually exist).