entombed in the shrine of zeroes and ones

Some test we were running at work today involved the ZIP code 12345.  So i threw it into Google Maps and it gave me Schenectady, NY:

"I wonder what's under the pin," i said to myself.  I clicked the zoom button once and saw:

"... Berlin?  I wonder what that is."  I clicked on that and...

So, yeah, it's a magical place.  I suspect that Google Maps is looking through a window into an alternate dimension where the Nazis won and own Rotterdam:

Further digging shows the actual Berlin address's Street View as an empty storefront for lease, and the gym's domain name is now for sale; the Schenectady location shows a tree.  It will have to remain a mystery.

Things probably aren't going so well when i find myself muttering, "You are going to eat a huge big bag o' dicks, my friend," to the hedge trimmer.

But i have beer now, so i think i'm good.

My morning commute train pulled in as i was walking from my car to the platform. This means i have about 3 minutes to buy a ticket and board. Today, unfortunately, there was a line. On one machine, a couple tried to buy an $8.75 ticket with quarters. On the other, the woman in front of me kept trying her credit card and getting rejected by the reader. I eventually tired of this nonsense, stuck my card in, and it accepted it readily. The woman was so confused that she neglected to thank me. Then, of course, the reader rejected my card when i wanted to pay for my ticket, but it gave in on the third try (i don't have my Clipper card loaded at the moment for Complex Plot Reasons). The quarters kids were still at it when i left, but made it to the train with 20 seconds to spare, so i guess that i could have not been in such a hurry. But $8.75 is an acceptable one-time price to make sure i don't miss my train.

You know how it is when you start thinking about bad breakups and wondering if maybe you should do the adult thing and reach out to an ex who you feel you might have cut off unfairly and then you hear years later that they're every bit as bad-crazy as they were back then and you feel relieved that you dodged that bullet?

England vs. Sweden

A clutch of young boys just ran up to my door and knocked with alarming intensity.  "Sir, we need items!"  "Excuse me?"  "We're on a scavenger hunt and we need items, do you have some??"  "Um, guys, 'items' means 'things'.  I got things in here, but you need to be more precise."  I got some blank stares, but they were rescued by the supervising adult, who gave me a list of items, so i went to the kitchen and got an apple for them.

"In Obama's America there will be no pants!"

Found typed on the edge of page 5 of the liner notes to the used copy of Duke Ellington Meets Coleman Hawkins that i just picked up at Rasputin:

   12/21/95  thurs morn.//T0wer,N0rth Beach
on way to work//Di's mom arrived last night

Cap'n Cockpunch

A brownie point to who can first tell me what's wrong with this blurb on the side of the SoBe Agave Lemonade Life Water i recently bought:

Herbal Content:
Taurine and Yerba Mate