entombed in the shrine of zeroes and ones

It's difficult to convincingly convey the excitement of soccer to doubters when even a die-hard fan says that it's boring.  The beauty of soccer is in the Brownian motion of the player-particles using their fundamental forces to try to squeeze a stray quantum from their environment in the right direction; the game is all velocity and zero certainty until that miraculous moment when a goal is scored, a wave function collapse where the path that the ball describes as it crosses the goal line is like the trail left behind by ions in a cloud chamber.  The schemes drawn up by the coaches are like Feynman diagrams that describe perfectly the mathematics involved in the behavior of the player-particles, and utterly fail to describe what happens when those player-particles meet a competing set of laws of physics.  This is not boring.  Yes, goals are rare, but the fact that a goal has not been scored is not proof that nothing is happening.  Many seem to like saying that matter is mostly empty space given the huge distance between nucleus and electron cloud, but matter cannot exist without that space; the space is part of the matter.  The lulls are part of the game.  Soccer is a goat rodeo, a complex system of strange attractors where observing the paths described is as exciting as witnessing their destination.

As i sit down to watch TV, i realize my heart is pounding, my stomach is twisting, and without warning i howl and my limbs jerk.  But it's not a neurologist i need... it's just World Cup Fever, baby!

RSA-MEX was a fairly sloppy game, though.  The alternation between exciting and groan-inducing moments was just a tad too much.  But now it's time for my nap.

¡¡¡¡¡LIGA DEPORTIVA UNIVERSITARIA DE QUITO CAMPEÓN DE COPA LIBERTADORES!!!!!

This odd bit of language brought to you by transliteration: "No juegue en el arco", meaning "do not play in goal".  This is a very small field at Off the Wall Soccer where the teams play 3 on 3 without goalkeepers.

Via thequietquiet, a video of acrobatic ball kicking and juggling.  Fake?  Maybe, but still pretty good.

If you're curious to know what 2wanda's and my relationship was like early on, you should rent Prime, ( VORSICHT: SPOILER )

Another fine Improv Everywhere stunt (thanks, en_ki).

Lyndon LaRouche asks, "Is the Devil in your laptop?" (thanks, tritone).

racerxmachina let me know that SJSU's president issued a letter banning blood drives on campus due to the FDA's policy that bans gay men (or, indeed, any man who's had sex with another man) from donating blood.  A tough decision, but i support Kassing's rationale and i hope that his efforts (among those of other campuses) get the FDA to reconsider the policy once we get someone in the White House who isn't an utter imbecile.

The FIFA Women's World Cup kicked off today with a brutal smackdown, Germany over Argentina 11-0.

The first All-African Amputee Football Tournament is taking place in Sierra Leone.  I'd love to see some of those games.  Those guys can be forgiven if they manage to miss a clean shot at goal; these guys, however, have no excuse for playing like they're missing a leg.  There are at least a few stars in there; i recognized Rudi Völler and Cristiano Ronaldo among the agonized head-clutchers.  As Gregg "TMQ" Easterbrook would write, "We're all professionals here."

As for those of us who aren't professionals, Crossfire lost last night to FC Red Storm, 9-6.  It was the first game in which i felt we could have won; we had no men substitutes, and they didn't sub out for a woman in the first half.  So they didn't last long to start the second half, and we gave up a bunch of goals.  They started subbing, and we managed to come back to 8-6 before giving up the final goal.  The ref scolded me after i threw myself across the path of a breaking attacker who was chasing the ball; i tried to grab the ball, but couldn't quite get a hold of it as the attacker tripped over me.  Anyway, we played a hell of a game.  We'll win one soon.

The sound of a flat of eggs hitting US Soccer President Sunil Gulati in the face: "Klinsmann withdraws candidacy as U.S. coach."

This goal was just voted MLS Goal of the Year.

Germany 3 - Portugal 1: Excellent game.  Up and down activity throughout the game, both Schweinsteiger goals (first one was a well-hit knuckler with Ricardo screened, second one was an unstoppable curler from outside) and the Gomes goal (centered right at his head by Figo) were excellent (and the Petit own goal came off a good Schweinsteiger free kick).

Italy 1 - France 1 (5-3 PKs): The France goal was a penalty kick awarded on what looked like a very good dive; Zidane hit the crossbar but the ball bounced well behind the touch line before coming back out.  The Italian goal came soon after that from a corner kick (France seemed to have trouble with Italy's corner kicks all game).  Throughout the game, one team seemed to spend some time dominating, then falling back and letting the other team take the upper hand.  The Italians had a goal (correctly) called off for offsides.  Near the end, the French really seemed to have worn the Italians down, but then, soon after taking a marvelous header that Buffon barely poked out, Zidane (who dislocated his shoulder late in the game) lost his patience with Materazzi and headbutted him in the chest, which got him ejected.  Kim thought maybe Materazzi tweaked his shoulder, but the replays don't really seem to show that; all that's clear is that Materazzi hugs him and grabs his jersey a bit.  They exchange words as Zidane walks away, he turns around, bam.  In PKs, Trezeguet's shot was almost a mirror of Zidane's penalty kick, except this time the ball hit the front side of the touch line, and that was the difference.

It's a shame to see Zidane go out like this, and it's a shame to have the Cup end this way, both because of the ugliness and the PKs.  The Iron Man award goes to Philipp Lahm, Fabio Cannavaro, and Gianluigi Buffon for playing 690 minutes of soccer in this Cup.  Buffon only allowed an own-goal and a penalty kick.

Let's do it again in four years.