rone | Entries tagged with twitturds

Yes, indeed, it's a new year's resolution ("dear journal, i never thought this would happen to me..."). Reasons follow:

It's a distraction. This is gonna be the year i improve my focus and discipline. Twitter actively harms that goal.
It's full of garbage. It's easy to be a shitbag when you only have 140 characters. It's easy to pass for a shitbag because 140 characters often isn't enough to convey nuance. The brevity of the medium combined with the instant gratification leads to all manner of reflexive, lazy expression. It's basically a shared network of comments sections. I don't need that agita in my life.
It enables abuse. Twitter doesn't give a shit about controlling actual, verifiable abuse (as opposed to garden-variety invective). In addition, there are scads of profiles that have pictures of pretty young women, share the same trite bios, post the same trite things, and have done so for years, and you'd think this sort of thing should be easily detectable, so either Twitter knows and does nothing, or doesn't know because they're don't care to know. In sum, they're useless when it comes to keeping a house clean of filth.

So what am i going to do with the free-floating invective that needs to be blurted out onto the interwebs? I'd tried to spare this site of it because i wanted to write longer-form stuff here, but i'm clearly not doing that now. So i'll start using this more. Facebook is probably also going to get severely curtailed at some point, but that's more complicated. Google+ is fairly high-signal and low-traffic, like LJ, so i'll keep that for now, too. The actual goal will be setting up my own site so that my words aren't going to be held hostage by some faceless corporation (or, in Facebook's case, a face that needs punching).

So there you go, wah wah wah, all the drama you've been craving. This is being crossposted to Twitter, where i'll pin it for whoever actually reads pinned posts. I'll probably check DMs there for a while, but really, send me email instead. If you can't figure out my address, ask.

Current Music: Faith No More - Hippie Jam Song | Powered by Last.fm

@ronebofh: DevOps in the Time of Cholera

@palecur: Memories of my Melancholy NOCMonkeys

@palecur: Chronicles of an Outage Foretold

@ronebofh: One Hundred Years of On-Call

@palecur: No One Writes to the Kernel

@ronebofh: The General in His LDAP-rinth

@palecur: Of Love and Other Daemons

Current Music: Sisters of Mercy - Lucretia My Reflection

Gods damn it all, i hate 'lol' with the burning of a thousand suns; it is the fucking turd in every online conversation, even when used in irony.

That feeling when you Google an app's error message and all you get is links to the app's source code.

"Oh, don't worry about optimal layout, it's just a POC cluster."
Four months later: "Why is our dev cluster so crappy?"
And this is why Daddy drinks.

Before enlightenment, chop confirmation bias, carry compassion.
After enlightenment, chop confirmation bias, carry compassion.

Whoever thought playing "Hollaback Girl" at an Easter egg hunt breakfast was appropriate needs to reëvaluate their life choices.

Current Music: Volcano Suns - Total Eclipse

I found a trove dated 2010-01-12. Some are a little dated already ("whuffie", Google Wave, The Boondocks)

the question is not "should i start pimpslapping people at work?" but "how hard should i slap them?" [should i be concerned that this seems to keep happening to me?]
i just realized that The Boondocks' Uncle Ruckus is what Alan Keyes will become in 10 years
fair warning: i've moved from mild-mannered tolerant agnostic to angry scorched-earth atheist. this is just a phase.
"out of ammo"'s just another phrase for "nothing left to loose"
i just attended my first lacrosse game and we were treated to a halftime show of competitive eating. i felt so very white trash.
i seem to spend an inordinate amount of time flipping off inanimate objects
George Carlin famously said of golf on TV "It's like watching flies fuck" but i think these days it's more apposite to MMA 'fights'
2wanda is driving us home from a party and she just had to stop when she saw the "FREE sewing machine" sign
bizarre Mayan triangle: every time I think of you / I get a shock right through the Popul Vuh
is it bad that upon inspecting Google Wave, the first words that popped into my head were "scuttling horror"?
i am banning myself from using "tweet" meaning "twitter update" because I don't want to sound like a complete dipshit [this didn't last long, sadly]
good news: my Dad has a Weblog now. bad news: he can't figure out what its URL is.
any time someone uses "whuffie" like it actually means something in the real world, i want to slap them
when someone tells you something scary and it gets stuck in your head, that's a #fearworm e.g. finding maggots on your pet
"Big Bang Theory" does for geeks & nerds what "Will & Grace" did for gays: turn up stereotypes to 11 and give squares something to laugh at.
"Dali's Mustache Ride" would be an excellent band name.

Until next time... on TWITTURDS!

Current Music: Throwing Muses - Fish

so Nikki Sixx has cardiomegaly and he's raising money for organ replacement surgery. he's calling it "Kickstart My Heart".
— ronebofh (@rone) September 13, 2013

@rone I guess the name of his cardiologist is no mystery.
— sunburn (@burntbythesun) September 13, 2013

Current Music: Dead Kennedys - Let's Lynch the Landlord | Powered by Last.fm

BOOTS ON THE GROUND SEXY STOMPY BOOTS CRUSHING SMALL ANIMALS FLOORING ACCELERATOR PEDALS MADE FOR WALKING FOR KNOCKING FOR GREAT JUSTICE ! !

Current Music: Rush - The Pass

Current Music: The Joy Formidable - Buoy

Jason Mustian: I have a form of bulimia where instead of sticking my finger down my throat I drink until I throw-up.

rone: that's called "bibulimia"

Current Music: Mike Oldfield - Lament for Atlantis

torkington: RMS: "Copyright a tyranny that is intolerable, unenforceable, and must be changed."
ronebofh: we really need an RMS bingo game. or drinking game. probably both.

Fap on! *fap* *fap* Fap off! *fap* *fap* Fap on, fap off... the Fapper.

I think that the Kindle is a complete failure. How the hell do you start a fire with this thing?

If you ever wondered how Jeph Loeb got a job writing Batman, Warren Ellis found his submission letter.

During the "don't ask don't tell" repeal hoohah back in March, i learned a new historical tidbit: the US Civil War started because the Union wanted to station gay soldiers at Fort Sumter.

The Vatican is a rogue nation run by people who systematically protect pedophiles worldwide; it's time to invade and provoke regime change.

When i see the iPod silhouette ads, i amuse myself by thinking that they depict people who've just been shot.

How to get from Wank to Fucking in about 3 hours.

analogue n. a conversation that originates from the talker's behind.

To the woman in the red Volvo station wagon with the "A GODLESS NATION CANNOT REMAIN FREE" bumper sticker: die in a fire.

Current Music: Covert - HRV-A

torkington: RMS: "Copyright a tyranny that is intolerable, unenforceable, and must be changed."
ronebofh: we really need an RMS bingo game. or drinking game. probably both.

Fap on! *fap* *fap* Fap off! *fap* *fap* Fap on, fap off... the Fapper.

I think that the Kindle is a complete failure. How the hell do you start a fire with this thing?

If you ever wondered how Jeph Loeb got a job writing Batman, Warren Ellis found his submission letter.

During the "don't ask don't tell" repeal hoohah back in March, i learned a new historical tidbit: the US Civil War started because the Union wanted to station gay soldiers at Fort Sumter.

The Vatican is a rogue nation run by people who systematically protect pedophiles worldwide; it's time to invade and provoke regime change.

When i see the iPod silhouette ads, i amuse myself by thinking that they depict people who've just been shot.

How to get from Wank to Fucking in about 3 hours.

analogue n. a conversation that originates from the talker's behind.

To the woman in the red Volvo station wagon with the "A GODLESS NATION CANNOT REMAIN FREE" bumper sticker: die in a fire.

Current Music: Covert - HRV-A

simon_cozens: So, what's this "Lost" thing that everyone's talking about, then?
ronebofh: imagine Gilligan's Island crossed with The Prisoner

Current Music: Hüsker Dü - Ice Cold Ice

simon_cozens: So, what's this "Lost" thing that everyone's talking about, then?
ronebofh: imagine Gilligan's Island crossed with The Prisoner

Current Music: Hüsker Dü - Ice Cold Ice

Because i could not stop for death, i bought some to go.

What the world needs is a first-person shooter version of Dig Dug.

Working in the data center is like hanging out in Darth Vader's chest.

When i die, i hope to have a funny look on my face. When the rigor mortis sets in, people coming to my funeral will say, "Wow, Mom was right."

You know the human race is a fucking failure when there's such a thing as a "blogging Lifetime Achievement Award".

Yo mama's so ugly, she can't masturbate anymore `cause her clitoris got a restraining order against her.

There is no 'i' in 'team', but there is an 'eat' and a 'me'.

Consider, if you will, the potential of Dr. Phil/Jim Cramer erotica.

Dear President Obama: stretching out a hand to Joe Lieberman should only happen when your arm fully extends as you backhand him across his Droopy face.

Thank you for reading. Check back again in three years for more Twitturds.

Current Music: ProjeKct Four - Hindu Fizz