entombed in the shrine of zeroes and ones

I found a trove dated 2010-01-12.  Some are a little dated already ("whuffie", Google Wave, The Boondocks)

the question is not "should i start pimpslapping people at work?" but "how hard should i slap them?" [should i be concerned that this seems to keep happening to me?]

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i just realized that The Boondocks' Uncle Ruckus is what Alan Keyes will become in 10 years

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fair warning: i've moved from mild-mannered tolerant agnostic to angry scorched-earth atheist. this is just a phase.

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"out of ammo"'s just another phrase for "nothing left to loose"

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i just attended my first lacrosse game and we were treated to a halftime show of competitive eating. i felt so very white trash.

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i seem to spend an inordinate amount of time flipping off inanimate objects

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George Carlin famously said of golf on TV "It's like watching flies fuck" but i think these days it's more apposite to MMA 'fights'

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2wanda is driving us home from a party and she just had to stop when she saw the "FREE sewing machine" sign

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bizarre Mayan triangle: every time I think of you / I get a shock right through the Popul Vuh

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is it bad that upon inspecting Google Wave, the first words that popped into my head were "scuttling horror"?

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i am banning myself from using "tweet" meaning "twitter update" because I don't want to sound like a complete dipshit [this didn't last long, sadly]

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good news: my Dad has a Weblog now. bad news: he can't figure out what its URL is.

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any time someone uses "whuffie" like it actually means something in the real world, i want to slap them

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when someone tells you something scary and it gets stuck in your head, that's a #fearworm e.g. finding maggots on your pet

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"Big Bang Theory" does for geeks & nerds what "Will & Grace" did for gays: turn up stereotypes to 11 and give squares something to laugh at.

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"Dali's Mustache Ride" would be an excellent band name.

Q: What's the only thing that keeps us safe today from vampires and zombies?

A: The blood-brain barrier.

Q: What's a frat boy's favorite chemical element?
A: BRO-mine!

After a recent outburst, 2wanda and i decided that the cartoon animals that Charmin uses to promote their toilet paper should be called the Dingle Bears.

Would have been way funny if, at the State Dinner last night, Obama had played "Hu, Let Xiaobo Out (Liu! Liu! Liu!)".

torkington: RMS: "Copyright a tyranny that is intolerable, unenforceable, and must be changed."
ronebofh: we really need an RMS bingo game. or drinking game. probably both.

Fap on! *fap* *fap* Fap off! *fap* *fap* Fap on, fap off... the Fapper.

I think that the Kindle is a complete failure.  How the hell do you start a fire with this thing?

If you ever wondered how Jeph Loeb got a job writing Batman, Warren Ellis found his submission letter.

During the "don't ask don't tell" repeal hoohah back in March, i learned a new historical tidbit: the US Civil War started because the Union wanted to station gay soldiers at Fort Sumter.

The Vatican is a rogue nation run by people who systematically protect pedophiles worldwide; it's time to invade and provoke regime change.

When i see the iPod silhouette ads, i amuse myself by thinking that they depict people who've just been shot.

How to get from Wank to Fucking in about 3 hours.

analogue n. a conversation that originates from the talker's behind.

To the woman in the red Volvo station wagon with the "A GODLESS NATION CANNOT REMAIN FREE" bumper sticker: die in a fire.

Q: What do you call a plan to stack your raw fish in a pyramid and pour citrus-soy sauce over it?

A: A ponzu scheme.

The Communist dictatorship doesn't always crush the pacifist monks, but that's the way Tibet.

Ash and Ethel Thorn, conjoined twin typographers.