entombed in the shrine of zeroes and ones

When my Secret PROTRADE Contact told me that Rob Neyer (whose work i've been reading since 1996) was coming to visit them, and that they'd be going to BJ's Restaurant & Brewhouse, a mere hop and a skip from my workplace... well, i indulged my fannish side and dropped by.  There was even an empty seat for me at the table!  But i merely hung around long enough to say hi, chat for a couple of minutes, thank him and take off.  Whee!

Yep, got fired.  I saw it coming, too, after something broke on my way in to work.  I said to myself, "I bet he's going to turn this into the excuse he wants to fire me."  Sure enough, he thought that i should have handheld the project manager (who called me) to troubleshoot the issue, and to guide him on the phone to power-cycle the machine.  I thought, "Why the hell would i assume the project manager has keys to the server room?"  He grumbled about the train delaying my arrival to work and i pointed out that, had i been driving, i would still have been far from work.  He responded by pantomiming himself troubleshooting the problem on the phone while driving.  I tried not to stare too much.

Anyway, i already have résumés out at Apple and Danger.  I think i'll spend next week having lunch with erikred and cleaning the garage so we can close our storage locker.  Anyone else want to spend some time with me?  Just drop me a line.  After all, i have no pressing engagements!  LOLOLOLOL*BANG*

Thank you all for your support, love, wit, and advice.  I stopped being depressed about this bullshit around 15:00 today.  Rodney (my co-sysadmin) and i have a good plan to work around him.  I'm still gonna send out my résumé, though, because i might get something better if i look for it.

Of course, today i missed my train home because he argued with me and the other sysadmin about how rsync --delete works.  He's a stubborn shit.  He finally got a clue, though.

I almost got fired today.  I begged for my job back and i got it.  Now i'm on double-secret probation.  I don't know if i want to stay here anyway, because my boss is a cranky old fuck who denigrated my work.  My co-sysadmin has my back and i greatly appreciate it.

I feel humiliated because i begged for my job, because i felt i had to beg for it.  I busted my ass today working like i haven't in years.  My boss thinks "being on call" means "being no farther than five minutes from a computer".  He found my playing soccer and seeing friends for brunch in SF somehow indulgent and irresponsible.

I've had bouts all day where i suddenly scrunch up my face and rub my brow and eyes, like some primal part of me wants to cry but isn't connecting to all the necessary parts.  Until recently, my head was filled with garbage impulses about what to do next.  Right now, i'm only thinking about it so i can write this down.

My boss said that he thought my effort so far was negligible and that his workload wouldn't change if he fired me and replaced me with someone off the street.  I think i earned some of this with a less than assertive work ethic, but he better think again if he thinks i'm going to let him do that to me again.

We at ProTrade have launched our baseball contest.  Come check it out and pick up some players while they're undervalued!

I signed Protrade's offer letter today.  I start on Friday.  I'll have to give Google and Simucad the bad news.