and so it ends

[rone]

Dear Ronny,

As a result of Adobe Systems Incorporated's acquisition of Macromedia, Inc., we regret to inform you that your employment will terminate because we simply don't have a clue as to how to integrate a company your size; therefore, we would rather move on with as few employees as possible to give each of them a vibrant new opportunity to work 70 hours a week, and thus give those of you we're laying off the chance to laugh at our ingenuousness.  I mean, ingenuity.

This is an actual quote:

There will be no bumping rights in connection with this reduction in force.

What the hell are "bumping rights"?

Comments

[simonb.livejournal.com]

That very much sucks, although from your comments it would probably suck even more in the long run.

[schwa242.livejournal.com]

Pigfuckers. It's too bad I can't give you my karma, I have a tendency to sink businesses.

There will be no bumping rights in connection with this reduction in force.

What the hell are "bumping rights"?

Employees are no longer permitted to "Do the Hustle" during normal work hours, overtime, scheduled breaktimes, lunchtime, meetings, or otherwise.

-- Schwa ---

That, or someone was fucking with the company pinball machine and racked up too many free credits. Those quarters cost money you know!

Concerning my deleted second comment...

[schwa242.livejournal.com]

Oh. There's a second page. I see.

[cheesetruck.livejournal.com]

So, here's hoping you have enough saved up that you can do what you want now. Meaning working.

Kinda required me to move to Finland, but, hey, I'm happy and working now.

Course, you do have significant other, so it's not quite so easy, but be selective and smart about stuff and don't let it worry you too much. There are worse things; like, well, hmm... you live in CA, in the US... ok so I would put your current situation on my list of 'so glad I am NOT _ever_ going to be there' so this is where I fail to come up with anything encouraging. However, I also know you're NOT me, which means you're prolly a lot happier there than I'd be, and, well..

give 'em hell. You deserve to (:

[boutell.livejournal.com]

Ugh. Sorry to hear it.

[sambushell.livejournal.com]

Do you think Adobe will stop here, or are they eyeing boutell.com to solidify their web presence?

[baljemmett.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear that, even if it could be classed as a lucky escape in the long run; best of luck finding something new!

[samantha2074.livejournal.com]

I know how sucky being laid off can be even when it also comes as somewhat of a relief. Hope you're able to find a better job as soon as you want to.

[pobig.livejournal.com]

Dang. Hope you find a better gig soon. All I know of at my employer's are R&D jobs, but let me know if you're up for that anyway.

[benchilada.livejournal.com]

Shit, yo.

Keep us updated on how things are going.

[sagespot.livejournal.com]

Dude that so blows.

[thingamarob.livejournal.com]

Great news. Work is fun but jobs suck. Can you snag me a bag of Cheetos?

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

Ah, dude, i totally forgot. Tomorrow, yeah?

[fredfred.livejournal.com]

Congratulations/condolences. Congratuladolences. Here's to bigger, better, more stable, and greater things! *tink*

[opadit.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you've been laid off. Hopefully it'll give you the opportunity to do something you haven't been able to accomplish because of work. Best wishes finding a new job as quickly as you need to.

[lusercop.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear it, but it gives you a good chance to find something else for the new year! Hope that bit at least goes well!

[nothings.livejournal.com]

Well crap. But hooray!

[whipartist.livejournal.com]

I offer you whatever sentiments (congratulations, sympathies) you feel are most appropriate.

HT Sez:

[(Anonymous)]

... I second that emotion. You tend to bounce back, despite sometimes having a rough patch before getting there, so I'm not super worried.

[glitter-ninja.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear that you got laid off. But I can tell you from experience that you do not want to go through a merger/acquisition with any company. Besides, I'm sure your company has severence pay. (My former company had this cool new thing called "invisible severance pay" which resulted in a lot of really nifty things called "lawsuits".)

[mmcirvin.livejournal.com]

I hope they were not invisible lawsuits.

[mmcirvin.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear that. Even if you're happy to be out of there (I think I'd be), I know how disruptive to your life this can be. I'm glad to hear you got good severance.

For what it's worth, the grapevine of tech firms around Boston says that laid-off people are getting hired more quickly than they were a couple of years ago. I hope it's the same over there.

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

It does seem to be the same over here. I wonder how many people in ex-Allaire (our Newton office) got the axe (besides a couple of managers).

[omarius.livejournal.com]

Dayum. They are fools, didn't you point out to them that you're RONE?

Sheesh.

Sorry 'bout the bad news.

[canetoad.livejournal.com]

Ouch. Sigh.

(hug)

[peglegpete.livejournal.com]

The FOOLS will RUE the DAY.
Probably while you're busy crushing them. Best of fortune in finding a job that brings bright joy to your black and twisted heart and lots of filthy lucre to your pockets.

[twillis.livejournal.com]

The lay-off thing is not fun, been through it a few times myself. Don't know if it's any consolation, but each time things ended up better for me.

Getting laid off is weird - the first time it happened, I experienced an interesting mixture of relieved giddiness, anxiety and feelings of rejection.

Sucky to be sure.

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

I am relieved but not giddy, and i feel rejected but not anxious. So, yeah.

[richtermom.livejournal.com]

So for those of us not in the roneclairoyant network, are there any ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT places as far as relocation, or are you just really hoping to stay put?

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

I go where the missus goes. And she might go somewhere for grad school, but otherwise, put.

[tritone.livejournal.com]

Major suck. I would've assumed that, you know, with an extra couple thousand people and all, they would have figured out that they need to keep increased IT staff.

Our Day of Truth is tomorrow...

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

I wish you luck with your desired outcome.

WTF?

[kawgirl.livejournal.com]

They sent you that letter? Really? They Suck! And that's sad! What is it you do again? Maybe my friends might have a lead for ya.

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

UNIX systems adminstration. Check out the ol' résumé (http://ennui.org/rone/resume.html), if you like.

[dwell.livejournal.com]

hey ron, my friend is unix/network/dba manager at this company: http://www.craigslist.org/pen/sad/116265509.html
let me know if it's interesting enough and if i can refer you.

bt

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

I shall check it out anon, thanks!