and so it ends

[rone]

Dear Ronny,

As a result of Adobe Systems Incorporated's acquisition of Macromedia, Inc., we regret to inform you that your employment will terminate because we simply don't have a clue as to how to integrate a company your size; therefore, we would rather move on with as few employees as possible to give each of them a vibrant new opportunity to work 70 hours a week, and thus give those of you we're laying off the chance to laugh at our ingenuousness.  I mean, ingenuity.

This is an actual quote:

There will be no bumping rights in connection with this reduction in force.

What the hell are "bumping rights"?

Comments

[2wanda.livejournal.com]

Hi almost to be married lady. Did you get my email?

[twillis.livejournal.com]

That's no lady, that a twillis!

Wait, I told that wrong.

Erg, no! I didn't get an email. I hope I didn't mistake it for spam. I've been doing that a lot lately, apparently.

(Did you send it to tdwillis at earthlink?)

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

Yes, she did.

[twillis.livejournal.com]

Well, hmmmm. I could see me having killfiled you, but I kinda like Kim, so that's pretty strange.