Dear Ronny,
As a result of Adobe Systems Incorporated's acquisition of Macromedia, Inc., we regret to inform you that your employment will terminate because we simply don't have a clue as to how to integrate a company your size; therefore, we would rather move on with as few employees as possible to give each of them a vibrant new opportunity to work 70 hours a week, and thus give those of you we're laying off the chance to laugh at our ingenuousness. I mean, ingenuity.
This is an actual quote:
There will be no bumping rights in connection with this reduction in force.
What the hell are "bumping rights"?
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rone
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Date: 2005-12-05 10:27 pm (UTC)Employees are no longer permitted to "Do the Hustle" during normal work hours, overtime, scheduled breaktimes, lunchtime, meetings, or otherwise.
-- Schwa ---
That, or someone was fucking with the company pinball machine and racked up too many free credits. Those quarters cost money you know!
Concerning my deleted second comment...
Date: 2005-12-05 11:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-06 02:52 am (UTC)