and so it ends

[rone]

Dear Ronny,

As a result of Adobe Systems Incorporated's acquisition of Macromedia, Inc., we regret to inform you that your employment will terminate because we simply don't have a clue as to how to integrate a company your size; therefore, we would rather move on with as few employees as possible to give each of them a vibrant new opportunity to work 70 hours a week, and thus give those of you we're laying off the chance to laugh at our ingenuousness.  I mean, ingenuity.

This is an actual quote:

There will be no bumping rights in connection with this reduction in force.

What the hell are "bumping rights"?

Comments

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

The door will slam on my butt on Friday. However, i am being generously rewarded.

[dagbrown.livejournal.com]

Holy cow, they actually gave you notice? Every time I've been laid off, I haven't even been so much as allowed to go back to my desk to get my jacket and bag. They've shuffled me out of the door as quickly as humanly possible in case I, I dunno, quickly whip up a bomb to plant under the PHB's desk or something.