and so it ends

[rone]

Dear Ronny,

As a result of Adobe Systems Incorporated's acquisition of Macromedia, Inc., we regret to inform you that your employment will terminate because we simply don't have a clue as to how to integrate a company your size; therefore, we would rather move on with as few employees as possible to give each of them a vibrant new opportunity to work 70 hours a week, and thus give those of you we're laying off the chance to laugh at our ingenuousness.  I mean, ingenuity.

This is an actual quote:

There will be no bumping rights in connection with this reduction in force.

What the hell are "bumping rights"?

Comments

[internebbish.livejournal.com]

I second matrushkaka's question - sort of. I assume the note isn't real but ... were you actually laid off? Please tell me no ... and mean it.

Thanks.

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

I have been laid off. But it's a relief, actually. I'm only marginally insulted.