don't fuck with the pancreas

[rone]

Posted without attribution because i can't find it:

Surgery has three rules.

1. Eat when you can
2. Sleep when you can
3. Don't fuck with the pancreas

I'm not kidding.  Google it: these are established rules.  You don't fuck with the pancreas because it's a poorly-encapsulated organ that, when inflamed, can't hold a stitch worth a good God damn, is a slurry of cells and enzymes that are trying to digest everything they can inside the body, is intimately involved with the superior mesenteric artery and vein, the celiac plexus, overlies the aorta, has a ductal system that must remain intact, is prone to form high-output fistulas, can trigger fatal systemic inflammation and —and— is so anatomically crucial that removal of the head of the pancreas can only be accomplished if you also remove part of the duodenum, gallbladder, part of the biliary tract and half the stomach.

Surgerizing the pancreas is like trying to remodel a house full of gasoline.  And the house is made of Jell-O.  And sits on top of a kindergarten.  And it's on fire.  And filled with bees.  Don't fuck with the pancreas.

Insert standard Intelligent Design joke here.

Comments

[dr-strych9.livejournal.com]

I'll say it again: my favorite puzzler for the "Intelligent Design" idiots is the simple phrase cephalopelvic disproportion. NO sane, intelligent designer would deliberately build a reproductive system with that kind of epic fail built into it...

[en-ki.livejournal.com]

Er, this is one of the rare bits that is actually properly documented in the manual. Per Gen 3:16 [Knuth 1991 (http://www.amazon.com/3-16-Bible-Texts-Illuminated/dp/0895792524)] and surrounding text, God intelligently designed the universe to include:

* human beings who are not supposed to eat from trees of knowledge
* serpents to convince them to eat from trees of knowledge anyway
* trees of knowledge
* punishment for human beings who are descended from human beings who ate from trees of knowledge (e.g., heads bigger than hips; jobs; death)

OTOH, it's not clear why animals die; maybe they ate from the tree of knowledge too, but then why don't they also have jobs and giant heads?

God hasn't yet submitted a revision to the manual to address this; he apparently attempted to just supersede the whole thing, but it didn't take, presumably because the scope of various successive documents was not consistent and the style changed a little too much for everyone to be comfortable with. I've sent email to his supervisor about it but I haven't heard back yet.

Personally, I think he should just use the MediaWiki like everyone else, but you know how those guys over in Supernatural are. And the turnover with tech writers has just been ridiculous; it's a wonder anyone knows anything.

[dr-strych9.livejournal.com]

Properly documented, my left testicle. Not only is the production equipment completely bolluxed, the fault analysis presented in the design process post-mortem, as presented in Genesis 3:16, is further proof of the mental incompetence of the designer.

p.s. it's possible that God hasn't submitted any revisions to the manual because he can't get through the goddamn change authorization procedures.

[en-ki.livejournal.com]

Well, yeah, the CA has been down for a couple eons, so everybody's certs are expired or self-signed at this point. It's a real mess trying to log in when you want to patch stuff. But you'd think the dude could at least show up, right? I can't begin to tell you how many meetings he's missed.