don't fuck with the pancreas

[rone]

Posted without attribution because i can't find it:

Surgery has three rules.

1. Eat when you can
2. Sleep when you can
3. Don't fuck with the pancreas

I'm not kidding.  Google it: these are established rules.  You don't fuck with the pancreas because it's a poorly-encapsulated organ that, when inflamed, can't hold a stitch worth a good God damn, is a slurry of cells and enzymes that are trying to digest everything they can inside the body, is intimately involved with the superior mesenteric artery and vein, the celiac plexus, overlies the aorta, has a ductal system that must remain intact, is prone to form high-output fistulas, can trigger fatal systemic inflammation and —and— is so anatomically crucial that removal of the head of the pancreas can only be accomplished if you also remove part of the duodenum, gallbladder, part of the biliary tract and half the stomach.

Surgerizing the pancreas is like trying to remodel a house full of gasoline.  And the house is made of Jell-O.  And sits on top of a kindergarten.  And it's on fire.  And filled with bees.  Don't fuck with the pancreas.

Insert standard Intelligent Design joke here.