this only scratches the surface of my contempt for "superman"

[rone]

<arian1> "Grant Morrison is among the writers who.ve pitched to Warner Brothers for a Superman movie. His is an approach that pretends Superman Returns never happened. Which probably works just fine, truth be told. Apparently Geoff Johns has also submitted a pitch. It is nice that Warner Brothers is actually /talking/ to the people who write comics."
<ronebofh> arian: grant morrison is a choad.
<palecur> Grant Morrison Superman?
<palecur> "My pitch is this: 'Superman' is not actually an alien but a 3-dimensional cross-section of the Kryptonian oversoul, a hyperconsciousness that exists transcending time and our 'normal' universe. Also everyone takes a lot of drugs and fucks a lot, all the time."
<palecur> There, give me lots of money.
<rone> palecur: not Morrisonian enough
<Arian> but that was a good try
<palecur> I think I got all the major tropes.
<Arian> I'm holding out for Garth Ennis' Superman
<rone> palecur: you hsould've thrown in 'hermaphrodite' in there
<palecur> damn, you're right. And not nearly enough chaos magick references
<palecur> Garth Ennis Superman: "Superman totally pokes a 'ole in this bloke's bonce, see, wif 'is finger, roight, then 'e pulls down 'is, loike, super trousers and gives the poor bastard a right proper skullfucking, see?" [Drains pint glass, throws up on script, passes out]
<rone> "Because Superman is a wee bollix."
<palecur> Warren Ellis Superman: "Superman and Lex Luthor are in it together, generating fear and hate. Hate and fear. It makes the population easier to control, and mold, and guide in a direction more to their liking. Global warming? Luthor's using Kryptonian technology to accelerate climate change, making a hot, swampy Earth that's more hospitable for his reptoid masters. Superman is just a force-grown biological abomination made of combined reptoid and human DNA -- the reason his skin is so tough is because there's scales underneath it. Why do you think he's 'solar powered'? His reptoid heritage makes him crave the sun." [searches venue for hidden recording devices]
<palecur> "Also, Lois Lane injects saline solution into her labia in a prolonged scene that has nothing to do with the plot."
<Arian> hahaha
<Arian> Ok sooo...Superman by Joss Whedon
<Arian> Go
<palecur> "Superman fights a skinny barefoot chick, played by Summer Glau. She throws him against a building and debris falls off, impaling Jimmy Olsen."
<palecur> next
<Arian> hahahaha
<Arian> Superman, by Alan Moore
<palecur> i think for Alan Moore a mathematical interpolation of Warren Ellis and Grant Morrison will suffice
<Arian> Superman by Todd McFarlane
<palecur> eugh
<Arian> hahah
<rone> Todd McFarlane's Spawnerman.

Comments

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

Uwe Boll's not a comic book writer.

[ptomblin-lj.livejournal.com]

Joss Whedon is? News to me.

[ptomblin-lj.livejournal.com]

Just to clarify - when I said "News to me", I meant it literally. I didn't know he was a comic book writer when I wrote the Uwe Boll comment. I wasn't somehow denying that he was.

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

Yeah, i got that. It wasn't where he started, but he's been writing them for a few years.

[schwa242.livejournal.com]

You can drop the words "comic book" from that sentence and it'll still be accurate.