commercials

[rone]

OK, so how much money do the phone companies make on collect calling? The enraging inanity of Carrot Top and Alf aside, are the ridiculous magnitude and frequency of ads we see justified by the profit they make?

Another item that's all over TV and the Web: shaving blades. What the fuck? How much money is in the shaving blade industry that they are desperate to top each other with moronic ads of guys in space and alien chicks fondling their faces? Now we have the Schick Quattro, "the world's first four-bladed shaver!" Remember that SNL skit about the shaver with 35 blades or whatever? IT WAS A JOKE, SCHICK. PUT THE QUATTRO DOWN BEFORE YOU HURT SOMEONE. No, i take that back, go ahead and shave your fucking head off! ARGGGGGH.

Comments

[ikkyu2.livejournal.com]

I was very surprised to discover that Gillete (NYSE: G) is capitalized to the tune of $2B. It's a favorite of Warren Buffett's.

[ikkyu2.livejournal.com]

Hm, not only did I misspell Gillette, but actually the market cap is nearer $32B.

So anyway, the answer being A LOT OF MONEY.

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

Why do companies that make shavers and beverages become WORLD POWERS? What the fuck?

[wisn.livejournal.com]

New York Times article about it a few weeks ago (it's pay per view online now) outlined how much money was at stake, and how much they spent on R&D and marketing.

The answer is: If you want a decent shave, you've got to use either Gillette's or Schick's products, and they'll fight tooth and nail over your eight dollar purchase, because you're one of the hundreds of millions of mooks with neck stubble to remove.

Among Gillette's campaigns is mailing the latest version of their Mach 3 razor to every male in the US they don't have logged as a customer. Which explains why I got two of them in the mail a couple weeks ago - one in my name and one for a former tenant. So I won't have to buy blades for a while.

[pootrootbeer.livejournal.com]

Gillette sent me a free disposable-cartridge razor set for my 18th birthday, which I guess tips the scales in their favor. Not that I use blade razors very often -- a Remington electric does well enough for the occasions where I decide not to just be all scruffy-looking.

It also means Gillette they had all my demographic data before I turned 18, which is vaguely unsettling.

[waider.livejournal.com]

All the money's in the blades. By giving you the handset they're essentially trying to lock you into their blade supply from the outset.

[schwa242.livejournal.com]

With the new four-blade shaver, I'm sure that Al Jaffee is chuckling in his grave, even though he isn't dead yet.

-- Schwa ---

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

That would make a great World Weekly News headline: "AL JAFFEE BURIED ALIVE! His snappy comebacks pushed his tormentors over the edge!"

[schwa242.livejournal.com]

"So Al, what's it like being six feet under?"

"At least I'm six feet further away from you, moron!"

"Finally, my own HBO series, you knucklehead!"

"-------------------
--------------------
--------------------"

-- Schwa ---

[schwa242.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry for that. I've had a couple drinks, I really should be in bed, that was just completely unnecessary. Please accept my apologies now for that stupid attempt at being silly.

-- Schwa ---

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

I REJECT YOUR APOLOGY. NOW I SHALL HUNT YOU DOWN AND DESTROY YOU.

[schwa242.livejournal.com]

NEVER! YOU WILL TASTE MY SELF-DEPRECATING WRATH AS MY BLOODIED APOLOGY IS LODGED IN YOUR GUT FOR REAL PAIN I TELL YOU NOW!

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

Your threat of real pain is nothing to me, thanks to this Vicodin offer i just received in my mailbox!

[sunburn.livejournal.com]

ALL LAUGH ALONG WITH HYPNOTOAD ICON.

[waider.livejournal.com]

There's an apocryphal story that back in the two-blade days, Gillette spent A Large Sum Of Money trying to figure out how to make The Next Big Thing in razors. After six months and said Sum Of Money, they came up with "add another blade".

[ikkyu2.livejournal.com]

After six months and said Sum Of Money, they came up with "add another blade".

But we're happy here... (http://www.angryflower.com/lauren.gif)

[mmcirvin.livejournal.com]

The best satire always comes true. Sometimes twenty or thirty years later.

[ratphooey.livejournal.com]

Assuming that three blades make for a smoother, closer shave than two blades, etc., at what point does the shave become so smooth and close that it can be no smoother/closer?

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a calculus problem waiting to be stated...

[huaman.livejournal.com]

I saw some documentary or something on TV once upon a time... I think it might've been that "Connections" show they re-air on the Discovery channel from time to time... anyway, the d00d was talking about the development of disposable stuff, and if I remember it even vaguely correctly, the Gillette guy was friends with the fella who came up with the bottlecap, and he set out, inspired by the bottlecap guy, to come up with his own disposable, mass-market disposable item, and ended up with the safety razor. There was more, dealing with the development of the razor blade and all of that sort of thing, and marketing angles, and minimizing the social importance of the barber shop, and then a bit about how the barber shop had grown out from barber-surgeons who were able to have that line of work in part because of belonging to a guild that controlled the production and distribution of the really sharp small blades of the world, such as surgical tools and razors for shaving.

Relevance to anything here? I dunno. But what the hell, it seemed vaguely apropos somehow.

[glaucon.livejournal.com]

honestly, I find those three blade jobbies absolutely fan-freakin-tastic. they feel great on my face, they leave it stubble-free every time, and the blades last a long time.

on the opposite extreme is my friend rob here in seattle who shaves his head and face every couple days with a straight razor.

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

Oh, i'll cop to being a fan of the Mach 3. The only problem was that, due to its design, i couldn't shave the hair in the nostril-filtrum corners, but i solved that by growing a mustache.

[coldsleep.livejournal.com]

Just as a corollary, I'm given to understand that when a shoplifting chain hits a big store like Wal-Mart or Target, they tend to go for high-priced, small items.

Shaving blades and print cartridges, mostly.

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

OK, what the heck is a "shoplifting chain"?

[coldsleep.livejournal.com]

Whoops. I knew I should have explained that better.

Perhaps I should have said "gang"...according to "security experts" most shoplifting that hurts large stores is done by gangs of shoplifters who work in teams to take individual stores for large quantities of small, easily moved items, like printer cartridges, razor cartridges, etc.

But apparently they can be rather well-organized, and pile up large quantities of stolen goods in a short amount of time.