e&tg 51

[rone]

"It's hard to have someone under control when you have a piece of metal sticking out of your face," i said as i walked into the small room.  To my left, two thugs held swords to Néfilo's neck; the druid looked furious.

To my right, the boss, the same one i'd seen Néfilo humiliate just a few days ago in the greenhouse, sat on a stool frowning with arms folded and holding a hand crossbow.  He said, "That was very rude.  You are a very rude person.  Oh," he scowled, "for Greed's sake, you're a fucking Merc.  Where the hell," he turned to Ĥavar and idly waved the crossbow in his direction, "did you get a Merc on such short notice?"  He interrupted Ĥavar as he started to reply.  "Forget it.  Don't give a fuck.  Doesn't matter.  You give me the data you have, we let your girl here go."

"What about the druid?" asked Ĥavar.

"Oh, he owes me one.  I'll be having my fun with him once you and i are done here."

Ĥavar pondered for a couple of seconds, then turned to the woman and said, "Kortra, my dear, i realize this isn't the best time, but i've meant to ask you to have me as your husband."

Ĥavar's non sequitur left the entire room befuddled.  Then Kortra exploded, "Are you insane?!  What the hell are you thinking, asking me to marry you now??"

"Now, dear, you don't have to say yes.  If you agree, just kneel."

Kortra stared at him for three seconds.  Then she knelt.  Ĥavar whipped up his crossbow and shot You Idiot in the neck.

I lunged towards the two who were holding Néfilo and launched a kick, which caught my target square in the stomach.  All of a sudden, two halflings were guarding air and Néfilo was lying in the corner, sucking wind.  I grinned and said, "Shall we dance?"  They half-heartedly turned their swords towards me, which i knocked out of their hands with ease.

"Your men are pathetic," i said as i turned around, but found i was talking to a stool.  Kortra and Ĥavar were kneeling and hugging, so i didn't bother asking them if they'd seen him leave.  I picked up and tossed the swords in their direction and ran out the door and found a dazed halfling pinned by a gryphon.

Comments

[kjc007.livejournal.com]

Ha! I actually figured out the tag for your story and just read the whole thing.

I like it! I'm very much enjoying it. Your characters are interesting and pretty clearly defined.

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I think i've been pretty lucky with it all. It's by far the longest piece i've ever written and i thought it'd end up being about half its current length.

At the end (which is very close), i'm going to collect it all in one page and throw it out for criticism, which it badly needs; yes, it's entertaining, but are the writing fundamentals good?

[eejitalmuppet.livejournal.com]

Heh, I like the fact that in this story, "Dazed halfling pinned by a gryphon" is a good thing.

I'm enjoying this: keep going, dude.