holy wapiti

[rone]

Would that i were so brave at 69 to take down a half-ton elk with a bow and arrow...

Comments

[mrbalihai.livejournal.com]

The first and only time I went bowhunting up in Northern California (1977), my friend and I bought both deer and bear tags. I'm not sure what we were thinking at the time. I can just visualize the two of us, tripping on acid while trying to plant a couple of broadheads into the vitals of a charging black bear. As if.

By the way, I'd be willing to bet dollars to donuts this guy had a pistol on him as a backup; that's pretty common practice when bowhunting for larger animals with sharp pointy horns or teeth.

[benchilada.livejournal.com]

Hrrrm.
If I could repeatedly shoot a stick at 175mph, I wouldn't be too worried.
Especially if that stick had a metal head intended to fuck shit up.

[thedarkages]

Aside from the possibility of making a cool chandelier out of the antlers, why did the elk have to die?

[mrbalihai.livejournal.com]

Elves in Lord of the Ring movies nonwithstanding, stringing and shooting arrows repeatedly at a large animal that's charging you at 25-30mph is a lot more difficult than you might think.

[mrbalihai.livejournal.com]

Because elk are very tasty.

Oh

[thedarkages]

Because elk are not kosher, I will never have the opportunity of finding that out. I will leave you to your elk steaks, sausages, organ meats, and other sybaritic delights.

[rimrunner.livejournal.com]

When I made my own longbow a few years back (draw weight: about 25 pounds, I could maybe take down a squirrel if I managed to hit it), there were a couple of guys making 60-pounders. They were planning to head up north and hunt caribou with them.

That's some balls, y0.

(One of them was the former Washington State archery champion, so he had some reason to believe he'd be successful.)

[benchilada.livejournal.com]

Not to imply that this was easy, but I do have to call attention to this:

After watching the bull stop at 75 yards with the arrow buried up to its fletching, the giant wapiti slowly disappeared into the dark timber.

It was scarcely charging, and he had something like this:

on the end of his arrow.

I don't deny that what he did is in some way impressive, but I do reserve the right to be unimpressed.

[mrbalihai.livejournal.com]

It's very difficult to bring down an animal that large with a bow, regardless of whether or not it was charging him; a lot depends on getting an exact hit in a vital area like the heart, which involves skill, or an inordinate amount of luck. Also, a wounded bull elk with a full rack of horns is extremely dangerous even when it's down.

As for the broadhead tip, yes it's designed to do a lot of damage, but it's not as destructive or powerful as a bullet which is traveling a hell of a lot faster than 175mph which much more force behind it.

I do reserve the right to be unimpressed.

Fair enough, and since I used to bowhunt for deer, I think I've earned the right to be impressed...;-)

[benchilada.livejournal.com]

I heart civilized discussion. :D

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

Sissies.

[mrbalihai.livejournal.com]

Also, that guy bears an uncanny resemblance to Joe Isuzu.

[mrbalihai.livejournal.com]

Oh, go 69 a half-ton elk, asshat.

[deirdremoon.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure I'd go hunting again, despite being raised on it in BFE Oregon... but I can appreciate the "OMG I'm so f'ed if I miss the shot and just piss it off" factor in what this man did.

Huge cojones of brass, that one.

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

Heh. I was waiting for you to correct that.

[eejitalmuppet.livejournal.com]

Doesn't work: the herbivore refuses to apply the tongue to the meat. Or so ronebofh tells me.

[mrbalihai.livejournal.com]

And I was waiting for you to correct me.

It's like an O. Henry story!

[dwell.livejournal.com]

"I had a Hoochie Mama call and I started calling." --quoted from the article

even under a different context, that would still make sense.

bt

Re: Oh

[vatine]

Oh? Ah.

Cloven hooves - check (as cloven as a deer, at least)
Chew cud - check.

There is probably something I'm missing, though (they're definitely the same species-family as deer).

Re: Oh

[vatine]

Ah, obviously you'd need to adapt the hunting technique, so as to trap the elk's hind legs, get it up in the air and vut its throat, in the proper fashion, but that is a mere implementation detail (and probably requires huge clanking brass balls).

[tongodeon.livejournal.com]

That's definitely a scary-looking pointy end. But the problem is that elk don't really care how scary-looking a pointy end is. You can put flames on the blades and write "ELKSLAYER" on it and attach a tiny MP3 player blaring a tinny version of "Ride the Lightning" and it's still just a pointy stick, and it takes very impressive placement of those inside an elk to get one to lay down so that you can dismember it.

I had a friend who bowhunted moose in Canada. He ended up treed by one, who waited under the tree for over 24 hours for him to come down so that it could kick his ass.

Re: Oh

[thedarkages]

Deer is intrinsically kosher, so my error, but I sincerely doubt that deer are ritually slaughtered in the correct manner, or that you would find a competent schochet to schecht deer.

[merde.livejournal.com]

it seems no one's actually latched onto one of the key points here: the man is 69 years old.

damn straight i'm impressed. even my uncle Bud, the retired Marine Colonel, quit bowhunting around 65 (he's 71 or so now). i think uncle Stan's still at it, but he's the baby of the family at 64. those two were always fiends for hunting. i remember visiting my grandma when i was 8 or so, peeking into her garage, and finding a deer's head staring back at me, with four hooves neatly arranged next to it on a worktable.

i sure wish i could visit uncle Stan. he makes the most amazing venison kielbasa.

Nnnnggg

[eejitalmuppet.livejournal.com]

To paraphrase Lennon and McCartney:

"Elk! I need some bloody ... elk!"

Re: Nnnnggg

[mrbalihai.livejournal.com]

Not just any bloody...elk!

Won't you pleeea-eea-eea-se

Elk me
Elk me
Elk meeeeee!

[trombone solo]

Re: Nnnnggg

[eejitalmuppet.livejournal.com]

Not just any bloody...elk!

How about "Not just venison, but elk!"?

OK, I'll shut up now. I'm making myself hungry.

[ooda-loop.livejournal.com]

Would that I were so lucky at 69 to have a wife with a rack like that!

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

There's still time, i wager.

[ooda-loop.livejournal.com]

I dunno, my wife is kinda funny about me dating!

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

I know. Everybody funny. Now you funny too.

You could always, you know, augment her...

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

I have no joke here, i just like saying "Schacht the Schecting Schochet".