e&tg 35

I looked to my right and saw a cabinet.  I tried to open it but it was locked.  I looked next to the door and there were a few keys hanging there.  I grabbed them all and kept trying them until one fit and opened the cabinet.  Inside i found a messy assortment of gardening tools and clothing.  There was a mirror on the inside of the door i opened, so i looked into it to put the arches inside my ear.  As i finished fitting them, i heard, "Are they in?"

I turned around to see Kohasadi with what might have been an expectant look on his face.  I grinned and said, "I do believe they are."

"That's great!  I've been anxiously awaiting this moment."  He stood up and walked closer to me.  "Even if you won't get to keep them for long."  I could hear him squawking and chirping, but it made sense.  It was a bizarre but marvelous experience.

I patted him on the shoulder and said, "This is really cool.  So, ah, what do you think?  About this all?"

"I'm still thinking about what the small one said about bonding."  He sat.  "We gryphons are not dumb like prey, but we are not as smart as you humanoids are.  So i would dispute that we are unable to bond because we're too smart.  And yet..."

After a couple of seconds, i impatiently said, "Well?"

"The mage.  My old master.  He made me and the other gryphons in his stable smarter, so he could train us more quickly."  He looked away uncomfortably.  "I wanted to follow you, because i  knew you had tried to kill him.  And my first impulse was to let you be my new master."  He looked at me again.  "Even though you took care of me, you still thought of me as a dumb beast.  And i would have been glad to let you be my master, because i did not know a life as a free being.  But then i talked to the caretaker, and just the way he looked at me, and talked to me, as if i were more than just a beast..."  He shook his head.  "I am young.  I am not used to this intelligence, this self-awareness, this ability to think about myself, this..."

"Introspection?" i offered

He nodded.  "Introspection.  To look within myself, to examine who i am.  I am excited and confused.  Do humanoids feel this same way?"

e&tg 35

I looked to my right and saw a cabinet.  I tried to open it but it was locked.  I looked next to the door and there were a few keys hanging there.  I grabbed them all and kept trying them until one fit and opened the cabinet.  Inside i found a messy assortment of gardening tools and clothing.  There was a mirror on the inside of the door i opened, so i looked into it to put the arches inside my ear.  As i finished fitting them, i heard, "Are they in?"

I turned around to see Kohasadi with what might have been an expectant look on his face.  I grinned and said, "I do believe they are."

"That's great!  I've been anxiously awaiting this moment."  He stood up and walked closer to me.  "Even if you won't get to keep them for long."  I could hear him squawking and chirping, but it made sense.  It was a bizarre but marvelous experience.

I patted him on the shoulder and said, "This is really cool.  So, ah, what do you think?  About this all?"

"I'm still thinking about what the small one said about bonding."  He sat.  "We gryphons are not dumb like prey, but we are not as smart as you humanoids are.  So i would dispute that we are unable to bond because we're too smart.  And yet..."

After a couple of seconds, i impatiently said, "Well?"

"The mage.  My old master.  He made me and the other gryphons in his stable smarter, so he could train us more quickly."  He looked away uncomfortably.  "I wanted to follow you, because i  knew you had tried to kill him.  And my first impulse was to let you be my new master."  He looked at me again.  "Even though you took care of me, you still thought of me as a dumb beast.  And i would have been glad to let you be my master, because i did not know a life as a free being.  But then i talked to the caretaker, and just the way he looked at me, and talked to me, as if i were more than just a beast..."  He shook his head.  "I am young.  I am not used to this intelligence, this self-awareness, this ability to think about myself, this..."

"Introspection?" i offered

He nodded.  "Introspection.  To look within myself, to examine who i am.  I am excited and confused.  Do humanoids feel this same way?"

and so it ends

Dear Ronny,

As a result of Adobe Systems Incorporated's acquisition of Macromedia, Inc., we regret to inform you that your employment will terminate because we simply don't have a clue as to how to integrate a company your size; therefore, we would rather move on with as few employees as possible to give each of them a vibrant new opportunity to work 70 hours a week, and thus give those of you we're laying off the chance to laugh at our ingenuousness.  I mean, ingenuity.

This is an actual quote:

There will be no bumping rights in connection with this reduction in force.

What the hell are "bumping rights"?

and so it ends

Dear Ronny,

As a result of Adobe Systems Incorporated's acquisition of Macromedia, Inc., we regret to inform you that your employment will terminate because we simply don't have a clue as to how to integrate a company your size; therefore, we would rather move on with as few employees as possible to give each of them a vibrant new opportunity to work 70 hours a week, and thus give those of you we're laying off the chance to laugh at our ingenuousness.  I mean, ingenuity.

This is an actual quote:

There will be no bumping rights in connection with this reduction in force.

What the hell are "bumping rights"?

you know what's fucked up?

Those of us who are leaving are consoling the people who are stuck here.

Oh, well, at least they set the vending machines to dispense sodas and junk food for free.  Bread and fucking circuses.

you know what's fucked up?

Those of us who are leaving are consoling the people who are stuck here.

Oh, well, at least they set the vending machines to dispense sodas and junk food for free.  Bread and fucking circuses.