Dear Ronny,
As a result of Adobe Systems Incorporated's acquisition of Macromedia, Inc., we regret to inform you that your employment will terminate because we simply don't have a clue as to how to integrate a company your size; therefore, we would rather move on with as few employees as possible to give each of them a vibrant new opportunity to work 70 hours a week, and thus give those of you we're laying off the chance to laugh at our ingenuousness. I mean, ingenuity.
This is an actual quote:
There will be no bumping rights in connection with this reduction in force.
What the hell are "bumping rights"?