i'm so wholesome you could cry

[rone]

I've managed to dodge the viral writing excuses many call "memes" for quite some time, but hannibaltaburss tagged me on that "25 things about you" thing and now he's going to get exactly what he asked for.

1. I've been a member of the Communist Party USA since 2001.
2. I have no sense of smell on alternate Tuesdays.
3. I took a semester off college to be a roadie for Julio Iglesias.
4. I underwent a radical mastectomy after i developed breasts when i was 14.
5. I'm developing an implant that will allow me to see people's vital statistics, much like that thing that the Saiyans had in Dragonball Z, except it projects directly into my optic nerve.
6. I stopped drinking tequila because after two shots, i would sound like Ethel Merman.
7. I believe in a God made of coherent light and the sound of sandpaper on lead crystal.
8. I believe it's not cannibalism if you make a curry.
9. When i was four, i stuck my foot inside a Hammond B-2; the resulting noise inspired the Hammond B-3, and the rest is history.
10. I don't want to reveal too much yet, but suffice it to say that the Devil and i are in the middle of negotiations.
11. I sold palecur my birthright for a bowl of lentils.
12. In 11th grade, i won a national mad science contest in Ecuador.
13. I've climbed the three tallest peaks in the world via astral projection.
14. My PhD thesis was centered around a study showing that getting a PhD makes you unemployable.
15. I have a permanent injunction that forbids me to speak Xhosa.
16. My wedding ceremony lasted five nights and cost me two fingers.
17. I attend the Mayaball Championship held every year in the Ball Court at Chichen Itza, even after they stopped the practice of sacrificing the losing team, because i'm not some whiny "purist".
18. I nearly drowned a few years ago after Larry Ellison's yacht launched torpedoes at mine and sank it.  Needless to say, he was drunk at the time.
19. I throw an aphasia party every First of August.
20. I have astigmatism in my third eye.
21. When i interview a candidate for work, i make them create a Dungeons & Dragons character.
22. I'm allergic to distilled water.
23. Pigs scream in terror when they see me because they know.  Oh, yes, they know.
24. I'm powered by an artificial singularity.
25. Regarding #10, we're finished, and i won again.  I am the Devil.

Comments

[rbradakis.livejournal.com]

So, just as lame as the rest of us, then. Check.

[sagespot.livejournal.com]

#21 kills me!!!!

[talus21.livejournal.com]

I think I shall do #21 if I ever have to interview people. It should be quite telling.

[vatine]

"What version"? :)

[talus21.livejournal.com]

3 or 3.5. The vast quantity of choices available should show you a few things about the person.

[vatine]

And the "what version" question probably says even more. :) I prefer AD&D 1st ed, because it's named "advanced". That has to be worth at LEAST 15 major revisions.

[talus21.livejournal.com]

True. At least I didn't say the unmentionable one.

[crisper.livejournal.com]

>My PhD thesis was centered around a study showing that getting a PhD makes you unemployable.

Ah, another artificial intelligence researcher, I see...

[schwa242.livejournal.com]

Congratulations. How much do you offer for souls?

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

I offer bonuses for volume.

[schwa242.livejournal.com]

Well, I do have a friend with a few dozen individually purchased souls in a Captain Morgan bottle, which he wishes to use collectively to forestall his eternal damnation for a few centuries. Sometimes people would sell him their soul for cigarette, some for a cup of coffee, some were stingy and held out for ten bucks. I may be able to hook you up.

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

You are an evil genius.

[dr-memory.livejournal.com]

Extra points for the rabbit-hole music tag.

[pennyhill.livejournal.com]

RHD kudos! Especially #20. I need to remember that one.

[therobbergirl.livejournal.com]

I have astigmatism in my third eye.

No you don't.

[hairyears.livejournal.com]

#12 In 11th grade, i won a national mad science contest in Ecuador

I'm not at all bitter about coming second. Bitter? Me? Oh no, surely not. White cat - Check. Bikini-clad assistant - check. Pirahna pool - check. Sinister henchman - check. Thermonuclear explosive with a Casio digital watch countdown - check.

And the oh-so-deserving winner had nothing better than a 'mind-control ray' box which pointed at the judges and played sound effects from The Tomorrow People... While texting pictures to their mobile phones of their children, mistresses or mother in real-time with an overlay of the aiming reticule in a cheapo Russian sniper rifle.

I've been practicing the maniacal mad-scientist laughter for just this kind of special day: enjoy the winnings while your hometown bathes in artificial sunshine and my henchman barbecues the dog.

[dawn-guy.livejournal.com]

Now on #23 there, I just have to say that up here we all prefer goats on account of their shape.

[cscottd.livejournal.com]

It's good to know such things (http://cscottd.livejournal.com/91683.html).

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

Well done, sir.

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

"I would say I'm a Jack of All Trades, except I'm not quite sure I rate a Jack... I'm more like the 8 of Diamonds of All Trades perhaps."

Yow. Compare to my profile.

[sine.livejournal.com]

you scare me. in a good way.

[mdyesowitch.livejournal.com]

16. You got off easy.

[krinndnz.livejournal.com]

This was the first time I'd ever heard of Rabbit Hole Day, and I'm hoping I can remember that it exists for a couple of months more.

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

It was started by crisper and he usually posts reminders. I'll try to do it this year, too.