tolkien == hack

[rone]

Here are 50 reasons why "Lord of the Rings" sucks. Suffice it to say that i feel like a total sucker, and will not be patronizing this film when it comes out two weeks hence.

Comments

LotR alternate casting (45, 46, 47, 48?)

[(Anonymous)]

I think it has been scientifically proven (I know I have the journal article around here somewhere) that if Kit Walken, Bruce Campbell, and Vin Diesel ever appeared in a movie together, the universe would have accomplished its purpose, the stars would wink out one by one, and everything would be over. The monkey would not be necessary to finish things, but would be an aesthetically pleasing grace note on which to go out.

I think it's just as well.

—Allan Baruz (http://radio.weblogs.com/0105058/)

Butt Weight!

[vardissakheli.livejournal.com]

*RETRACTED REASONS LORD OF THE RINGS SUCKS:

11. The giant firebeast thing is defeated by Gandalf when he destroys the bridge, sending the creature plunging to its death... despite the fact that it has wings.

This was retracted when a reader pointed out that the wings, like the rest of the beast, were made of shadow and fire and thus would be useless for flight. Thanks for the tip!

But, but, if the beast is made of fire, and fire always goes UP . . .