more salvatoresque crap — avert your eyes while you still can (part 4)

  (many thanks for all the kind words)

One thing about being a city-dwelling adventurer is that i had no idea what the lives of beasts are like.  So my first day of traveling with a gryphon showed me two things i never thought about: what a gryphon eats, and what gryphon shit looks (and smells) like.  The first time it took off, i thought it had decided it had had enough of walking with humans.  My relief was short-lived; it returned in a short while squawking, with a buck's corpse in its claws.  Feren declared, "Well!  I guess we should eat, too!  I'm sure hungry!"  So i chomped on my dwindling trail rations (another thing about being a city-dwelling adventurer is that i'd never learned to hunt, and Feren nattered on about it being the wrong time of the year to hunt around here and, gosh, just the other day he had to chase off some poachers and then i tuned him out), Feren ate wood ears and lichen, and the gryphon made quick work of the carcass.

The next morning, i was roused by a fabulous stench.  Feren was already up, covering the gryphon's mess with dirt and dead leaves.  "Gee, Mwaele, what have you been feeding your gryphon?!  It smells terrible!"

"It's not mine, i haven't fed it, and if you have any complaints about its diet, you'll have to address them to Teraad's corpse, back under the burnt ruins of his keep."  I retched.  "Fuck, i'm not gonna have an appetite for a week..."

"Aw, c'mon!  It'll pass soon!"  Feren finished the job and straightened up.  "Hey, this isn't as bad as owlbear dung, especially if it's been on a goblin bender!  Hooo-ey!  Let me tell ya—"

"Feren, please.  I don't need a detailed description of monster crap.  Let's pack up and get going, yeah?"

Feren frowned.  "Ah, gooseberries, Mwaele, you're no fun!"  He then tried to sulk very unconvincingly as he packed up his gear.  I smirked.

more salvatoresque crap — avert your eyes while you still can (part 4)

  (many thanks for all the kind words)

One thing about being a city-dwelling adventurer is that i had no idea what the lives of beasts are like.  So my first day of traveling with a gryphon showed me two things i never thought about: what a gryphon eats, and what gryphon shit looks (and smells) like.  The first time it took off, i thought it had decided it had had enough of walking with humans.  My relief was short-lived; it returned in a short while squawking, with a buck's corpse in its claws.  Feren declared, "Well!  I guess we should eat, too!  I'm sure hungry!"  So i chomped on my dwindling trail rations (another thing about being a city-dwelling adventurer is that i'd never learned to hunt, and Feren nattered on about it being the wrong time of the year to hunt around here and, gosh, just the other day he had to chase off some poachers and then i tuned him out), Feren ate wood ears and lichen, and the gryphon made quick work of the carcass.

The next morning, i was roused by a fabulous stench.  Feren was already up, covering the gryphon's mess with dirt and dead leaves.  "Gee, Mwaele, what have you been feeding your gryphon?!  It smells terrible!"

"It's not mine, i haven't fed it, and if you have any complaints about its diet, you'll have to address them to Teraad's corpse, back under the burnt ruins of his keep."  I retched.  "Fuck, i'm not gonna have an appetite for a week..."

"Aw, c'mon!  It'll pass soon!"  Feren finished the job and straightened up.  "Hey, this isn't as bad as owlbear dung, especially if it's been on a goblin bender!  Hooo-ey!  Let me tell ya—"

"Feren, please.  I don't need a detailed description of monster crap.  Let's pack up and get going, yeah?"

Feren frowned.  "Ah, gooseberries, Mwaele, you're no fun!"  He then tried to sulk very unconvincingly as he packed up his gear.  I smirked.