open letter to joel spolsky

[rone]

I'm sure that you didn't mean to sound like this, but your recent entry about lunch at work comes across as if you're practically peer-pressuring coworkers to lunch together, which can't be a good thing.  How do you deal with introverts or people with Asperger syndrome?  It's good to welcome new people, and encourage social behavior (especially because lunch should be a real break and not simply the time of the day when you eat at your desk).  But if i worked with you, your use of the words "not negotiable" for the concept of eating with your coworkers doesn't make me want to have lunch with you.

Comments

[racerxmachina.livejournal.com]

I'm a non-engineer, but I run the front office of a college. My job REQUIRES that I be friendly, sociable, and engaged with people's needs.
From 12-1, I get out of that office like my pants are on fire, go to the Student Union, let the crowd flow around me, put on my headphones, eat, knit or crochet, and peoplewatch.
I hate to say it, because my coworkers are great people, but if I was expected to be social with them ALL the time, I'd burn out! Going somewhere and quietly appreciating the bustle of university life lets me get something back for my efforts without expending all my energy.
It's not just engineers that like their "me" time....

[therobbergirl.livejournal.com]

I had a similar reaction, too. I'm constantly in social mode at work. We have meetings, we have drop-bys, we chat in the halls. Taking some time out in the middle of the day is recharging for me. And, well, it's my damn time. My employer doesn't get to tell me how I spend my personal time.

[inflectionpoint.livejournal.com]

This. My work requires me to herd cats, be Patient, and Encouraging, and not Poke People Who Direly Deserve It. We waste a LOT of time in meetings, so lunchtime is time for me to

eat
have time to work
or work through lunch so I can leave early and hit the gym or a class or a business networking event.

It's great advice if you WANT to work with those people or ascend that particular ladder. But if you are trying to move on, wiser to focus your efforts on what gets you want you want.

Sigh. One size fits all advice often does not.