entombed in the shrine of zeroes and ones

This is what i found in the console and app logs:

dyld: lazy symbol binding failed: Symbol not found: _GPTuuidType2Human
Referenced from: /System/Library/PrivateFrameworks/DiskManagement.framework/Resources/DiskManagementTool
Expected in: /System/Library/PrivateFrameworks/MediaKit.framework/Versions/A/MediaKit

dyld: Symbol not found: _GPTuuidType2Human
Referenced from: /System/Library/PrivateFrameworks/DiskManagement.framework/Resources/DiskManagementTool
Expected in: /System/Library/PrivateFrameworks/MediaKit.framework/Versions/A/MediaKit

Someone suggested running the disk utility from the command line while in single-user mode, but that yields the same errors. I'll try running the combo installer from the command line when i reboot into multi-user mode. How do you extract a .dmg file from the command line, anyway?

I really don't want to contact Apple Support because i'm afraid it's going to be a huge disaster and it'll just make me pissier.