on the turning away

I had my chat with E the boss's boss yesterday, and the summary of the conversation was that 1) he didn't seem to have much faith in my ability to manage my group, 2) he compared my bid unfavorably to S the DCM manager, 3) he made a point to mention that P my boss's departure wasn't mostly the result of a personality conflict between P and H the senior director, but also because E was not satisfied with P's performance (and this after i'd said that P was my managerial role model; insert foot A in mouth B, eh?).  EDIT: he didn't actually shoot me down; officially, he's still considering the position.

After that, i talked to P and realized that 1) i really don't want to work for E, and 2) S is even unhappier about managing us than i realized.  He's also screwed; if he turns down the job, he will essentially flush his career at Macromedia down the crapper.

Based on the results of the last 36 hours, i've formulated a new plan: 1) stay the course, 2) massage S and turn him into an acceptable boss, 3) get as many certifications as i can, 4) look for a new job.  But while that sounds good and i can already feel some relief, i'm also roiling with bitterness because 1) it seems that i only decided to ask for the job while i was on an adrenalin high, 2) i'm basically quitting on a goal i set for myself, 3) the best boss i've ever had is still quitting and there's nothing i can do about it, 4) a job with which i've become comfortable through the ups and downs has since become unsustainable.

These jerkoffs are, in the words of Jesse Custer, "fucking with me and mine."  It's sensible to maintain a detached relationship with work; it really isn't feasible in my case.  I'm an emotional guy, and i build relationships that way.  Will it significantly matter to these guys (or to anyone else in IT) that they've irreparably alienated me?  My departure wouldn't be a quarter as visible as my boss's, even though we've worked almost the same amount of time at Macromedia.  I guess i'll find out just how important i am to the company when i inform them that i intend to leave.  But for that to happen, i have to prepare myself (see step 3 of my SUPAR L33T PLAN).

on the turning away

I had my chat with E the boss's boss yesterday, and the summary of the conversation was that 1) he didn't seem to have much faith in my ability to manage my group, 2) he compared my bid unfavorably to S the DCM manager, 3) he made a point to mention that P my boss's departure wasn't mostly the result of a personality conflict between P and H the senior director, but also because E was not satisfied with P's performance (and this after i'd said that P was my managerial role model; insert foot A in mouth B, eh?).  EDIT: he didn't actually shoot me down; officially, he's still considering the position.

After that, i talked to P and realized that 1) i really don't want to work for E, and 2) S is even unhappier about managing us than i realized.  He's also screwed; if he turns down the job, he will essentially flush his career at Macromedia down the crapper.

Based on the results of the last 36 hours, i've formulated a new plan: 1) stay the course, 2) massage S and turn him into an acceptable boss, 3) get as many certifications as i can, 4) look for a new job.  But while that sounds good and i can already feel some relief, i'm also roiling with bitterness because 1) it seems that i only decided to ask for the job while i was on an adrenalin high, 2) i'm basically quitting on a goal i set for myself, 3) the best boss i've ever had is still quitting and there's nothing i can do about it, 4) a job with which i've become comfortable through the ups and downs has since become unsustainable.

These jerkoffs are, in the words of Jesse Custer, "fucking with me and mine."  It's sensible to maintain a detached relationship with work; it really isn't feasible in my case.  I'm an emotional guy, and i build relationships that way.  Will it significantly matter to these guys (or to anyone else in IT) that they've irreparably alienated me?  My departure wouldn't be a quarter as visible as my boss's, even though we've worked almost the same amount of time at Macromedia.  I guess i'll find out just how important i am to the company when i inform them that i intend to leave.  But for that to happen, i have to prepare myself (see step 3 of my SUPAR L33T PLAN).