kosmonaut_blog wants to see other people's handwriting.  Instead of writing her a nice note back, i decided to use this opportunity as an exercise in sedition, because i'm an unpatriotic jerk who hates his country, like Thomas Jefferson.  Please excuse the spots; the scanner was dirty.

You know what?  I'm in a bad mood.  And the best way to improve my mood is to abuse other people, especially the ones i love.

Reply to this post, and i'll tell you one reason why i think you suck.  Feel free to re-post this in your journal.  Or not.  Like i give a shit.

( personality test results - turns out i have one )

Who wants to see me holding onto a very large phallic object?  Also, note new almost-circle beard.  I have been told i look "dangerous" and "like a badass".

Kim hit the road to Eugene, OR, this morning, to interview a professor at UofO, as well as visit her friend Judy.  I will be all by my lonesome self until Friday night.

Little Miss Sunshine is a very funny movie.  At its core, the movie is ( a spoiler )

As i was rolling through my archives, i noticed that i did the same meme twice, fourteen months apart.

The final, lonely, unguessed book is ( zounds! all is revealed! )

As seen originally here, i've added a SIP to the unguessed titles.  If you hadn't seen it before, check it out now.  ( else, follow through )

Y'all've seen this making the rounds, i'm sure: "Pick ten of your favorite books, look them up on Amazon.com, and find the list of Statistically Improbable Phrases for those novels.  Pick a few SIPs from each book, list them here, and then have people guess what books they are.  (Obviously, using Google or Amazon to figure it out is cheating.)."

• yellow bushes, judicial panel, body exchange
• dragon with twelve, dragon with eight heads, ten heads
• robot girls, fifty knots
• bloated colonel, illegal tobacco, quarter cents (Joseph Heller's "Catch-22", guessed by nyar)
• helicopter screws, emotional engineering, pleasant vices (edited this one because i'd made it a bit too vague)
• senior postman, golden suit (Terry Pratchett's "Going Postal", guessed by velvet_wood)
• riddling beast, early dew (John Barnes's "One for the Morning Glory", guessed by tomscud)
• psychological arrow, more quarks, imaginary time (Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History of Time", guessed by mmcirvin)
• spiritual knighthood, subterranean currents, bearded gentleman (Umberto Eco's "Foucault's Pendulum", guessed by eejitalmuppet)
• bun compartment, poor momma, minimal wage (John Kennedy Toole's "A Confederacy of Dunces", guessed by mmcirvin)

I'm fairly sore that there were no SIPs available for Norton Juster's "The Phantom Tollbooth", Dalton Trumbo's "Johnny Got His Gun", Alan Moore's "Watchmen", or Neal Stephenson's "Snow Crash".

That brigand hannibaltaburss tagged me for that damn "six weird/strange habits about yourself" meme, then compounded his insult by challenging my manhood.  FIE ON YOU, SIRRAH.

1. I used to chew my nails.  Now i compulsively trim my nails so i don't chew on them.  It mostly works.
   
   
2. I compulsively trim my facial hair (see a trend?).  When i see a man with a moustache that curls over his lip, i have to restrain myself from whipping out my Victorinox and trimming it.
   
   
3. When i get into bed, i twist my lower body to my left to pop my lower back.
   
   
4. I crack my hand joints in a particular order: first i wiggle the finger to pop the lower interphalangeal joint, right pinky to thumb, left thumb to pinky.  Then i take off my wedding ring, lace my fingers, and squeeze tight.  Then i open my hands and flex my fingers.  Then i put my right fist in my left palm and crack the knuckles, then vice versa.  Then i crack my wrists, right, left.  Then i tighten both hands into a leopard fist.  Then, i twist my right hand outward, then inward; then the left.  Then i stretch my left hand upwards, then downwards; then the right.  After all that, i put my ring back on.
   
   
5. I will obsess over reorganizing our wine rack.  The Rhône varietals go together, see, and we have a zin-mourvèdre blend, so that and the other zins go in the next column, and that includes the primitivo, and since that's Italian, the sangiovese goes next to that, and, god, i have about a column and a half of cabernet sauvignon, what am i going to put in the other half?  Other Bourdeaux grapes, i suppose, but what am i to do with this merlot-carignan blend?  At least the whites have their own smaller, separate rack...
   
   Hmm, i'm stuck.  I'll have to ask Kim for help.
   
   
6. "Picking your butt zits."  Ugh.  It's true.
    

1.~Would you give reddragdiva a reacharound if you were fucking him in the ass?  Well, of course, it's ONLY common courtesy.
2.~Have syringavulgaris and mjg59 gone redneck hunting?  I doubt it, but they should.
3.~Did you meet palecur in a gay bathhouse?  No, we went there later.
4.~Tell us about topaz_munro's latest political scandal.  He used his political influence to affect the Michael Jackson verdict.
5.~Have you stopped beating 2wanda yet?  No— i mean yes— SHUT UP.
6.~What is ewx's porn name?  "Roger N. Johnson"
7.~What would you do if you hadn't gotten waider pregnant?  I'd have more MONEY, that's for sure.
8.~Would arian1 and merde make a great burlesque act?  Absofuckinglutely.
9.~Would you go back in time to make sure you never met erikred?  ... still thinking.
10.~Does mrbalihai dress like a boy or a girl?  That depends on what time of day it is.
11.~What would you ask of schwa242 that would be worth performing sexual favors?  To kill whoever's responsible for this fucking meme.