grief

[rone]

My friend Harley Davidson took his own life last Thursday evening. I found out on Saturday morning, when my wife ran up our stairs in tears. Harley was a man with a bleak outlook of things, and was a kindred spirit during my bitter, cynical years (yes, i know some of you are quietly stunned because you thought that THESE are my bitter, cynical years... no, this is the kinder, gentler rone, believe it). But he was fiercely loyal (clichéd, but literally true), and definitely had tenderness and love within him (he had an array of exotic, very cute pets such as a chinchilla, a hedgehog, and a pair of sugar gliders). He was my confidant. He was one of my groomsmen, and therefore wore a tuxedo, which meant the world to me. I was going to call the little bastard last week so we could hook up for lunch, as it'd been more than a few months since i'd seen him... but it slipped my mind. Well, fuck.

I'd've said something here sooner, but the truth is that i was...well, not exactly numb, but i didn't really feel much. A touch of sadness, a bit of disappointment, a pinch of annoyance. We held his wake tonight at our house and i saw people i hadn't seen in a long time. I also met Harley's mom and sister, and their emotion was palpable. I came back to my computer and sobbed quietly for a minute... didn't even cry much. I got teary as the evening progressed and we reminisced. Now things have wound down and the house is empty again. And i miss the little fucker because of how we'd get together and talk and talk and vent and talk more.

Comments

[waider.livejournal.com]

my sympathies, ron

[(Anonymous)]

I can't tell if I am surprised or not. I do know I never expected Harley to go out due to old age. Aside from you, Ron, he was the only other person with as much vitriol as I.
I am a bit irked that I'm the last to know. Irked, but not surprised. I'm always the last to know.
Anyway, would have been at the wake if I knew about it. But I'll be pulling for the people left in the lurch by his passing all the same.
Here's to the best smirks in the world, and pretty pink boxes at the office for Easter.

--Dave Weinstein

[2wanda.livejournal.com]

Dave, I really apologize that you were passed over. We put the wake together as quickly as possible, because Harley's mom wasn't going to be here for very long. She was planning on flying back today (Thursday). We did our best to get the word out to everyone, but unfortunately weren't able to get in touch with everyone in the short time frame. I feel very badly that you weren't able to be there. There are others that didn't get the news quickly enough to be here, as well. I'm glad, though, that we had a good turn out. The most important thing to me was to show his mom that so many people loved her son. We were able to really accomplish that. It brought some joy to her life during this really tragic time.

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

Man, i did think of you (as you say, our vitriol powers were evenly matched), but i had no idea how to get a hold of you... i shoulda gotten your e-mail at DunDraCon. It's great that you found this crappy journal of mine... send me e-mail, will ya?

[solipsistnation.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's a terrible thing. My sympathies...

[(Anonymous)]

Deepest sympathy, Ron.

-Michele G.

[eejitalmuppet.livejournal.com]

*hug* My sympathies.

[rimrunner.livejournal.com]

I'm very sorry. My sympathies.

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry to hear about it, Ron. I too am bad with keeping touch with friends, and thinking what could have been with friends and family that pass away suddenly can just drive you crazy.

—Allan

[schwa242.livejournal.com]

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss.

-- Schwa ---

Damn.

[vardissakheli.livejournal.com]

It's times like this that I'm reminded how lucky I am that my best friend was TOO STUPID to know how to slit his wrists the right way.

Think of him a lot. And cry a lot. And feel better.

OK?

[pobig.livejournal.com]

Damn, sorry to hear.

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[denshi.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[tigresse.livejournal.com]

Even a chitinous embrace cannot convey my sorrow for your loss. Please accept both, though.

[denshi.livejournal.com]

This makes me really fucking angry. I myself am suicidal; what keeps me off the line is my total hatred for everyone who leaves these messes behind for all their friends to deal with, and cheats them out of everything they ever gave them. Assholes! dammit.

How are you doing?

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

I'm all right now. It's been a rough month, although there have definitely been good moments.