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good, something else i can mark off on the ol' purity test
Well, today was a momentuous occasion. For the first time, i was practically accused of being a child molester.
We went to a jam party that my sister-in-law held, which, besides family members, was attended by musicians with whom she's played before (she's a professional blues sax player). One of those guys brought his wife and little girl with him. She, Kim, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
sandollar17, arian1, and i were in the pool playing throwing a ball around as her mother watched. After we left the pool, i performed my usual child-entertainment routine, which involves acting goofy, making faces, and a little serious conversation. She asked me to open up a plate of cookies that were tightly plastic-wrapped, so i did. Later, i went into the jam room (which is not where the musicians were playing, ironically, as they had set up in the back patio), because even after all these years, i'd never been there. After a minute, she followed me in, and we talked a little bit more. Then her dad showed up and loudly insisted she go out to the kitchen with him. Nonplussed, i stayed where i was and shrugged it off, until i heard him scolding her, "I told you not to fucking talk to strangers."
Man, wasn't i just complaining recently about people who curse in front of their kids? And this jerkoff cursed AT his kid! Wow! I'm glad that i inspire such confidence in random people. I go outside later and the little girl is crying her head off in her mom's arms as the dude is clearly still ranting about it. So i tell Kim about it, and she says i should tell her sister, so i do. She's surprised and maybe a little appalled. It turns out she barely knows this guy, and has only played a couple of gigs with him.
Kim and i decide to get out of here, so while she's getting our stuff together, i put my stuff in the car, and i can see that they are leaving. So i kinda stare at the dude as he opens the gate for his wife, but then he doesn't get in the truck with her (turns out he had to get his gear together). I guess they just wanted to take her somewhere safe. I go back into the house, and after a little while he comes in and fucking confronts me:
"What were you doing with my daughter in there?"
"Uh, i was in there and she followed me in. We were talking."
"I'm gonna tell you man, if there's anything weird with her—"
Oh, man, i guess i saw it coming, but i didn't really think he was really gonna go there. "Hey, what are you insinuating, man?"
"Look, i was just a little freaked out, okay? But if anything weird happens to her, i'm gonna dust you."
I just gaped at him. "Look, man, this is a family affair. I'm S's brother-in-law, okay? I guess we haven't been properly introduced."
"Yeah! That's right!" Like that's exactly his point or something.
I stick out my hand. "My name's Ron. Pleasure." He kinda stares at me like grew another head and shakes, but says nothing. Maybe it's dawning on him just how much of a fucking moron he's made of himself. I press on, "What's your name?" He mumbles it. I tell him, "You know, what i really didn't like was that you cursed in front of your daughter."
"Well, yeah, i was a little freaked out."
"Yeah? Well, next time, don't curse at her, curse at me, OK?"
He looks at me sideways and starts to turn away. "Oh, you don't want that."
"Well, i don't think she wanted that, either." He finished his walking-away move.
At this point, i've got the "i need an ass to kick" shakes going on. I tell Kim, she insists i tell S, which i do. She apologizes to us and condemns jerkoff boy's actions. She mentions that he needs a couple of slugs of tequila before he can work up the courage to sing and play.
What kind of paranoid alcoholic fuck brings his little girl to a party full of strangers? Where the fuck does he get off on scaring the fuck out of his own flesh and blood and throwing around serious accusations at people he's never fucking met? (The kind that has a sticker on his rear truck window that says "BLANCO BASURA", obviously.) If he was concerned about what could be happening, he shoulda come into the room and talked to me while keeping his little girl close to his side, and reminding her later, when i was WELL OUT OF FUCKING EARSHOT, ASSHOLE, that she shouldn't talk to strangers. And threatening to "dust" me? "Bad" rone still wishes i'd've gotten in his face about that. But i played it all well. I was a credit to my parents and a role model to the youngsters who, sadly, did not see my gracious performance under pressure.
Fuck, i had to have a session with my pillow to get the shakes out and i'm gonna have to go for another one now. Makes me think of the bit in "The Dosadi Experiment" with the Wreave and the small animal.
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