I went to my local family-owned barbershop yesterday on my lunch break. They were mobbed, but they had five chairs going at once, so it didn't take long to reach the front of the line.

The lady I got was more than a bit preoccupied; her kid was sick, and she was waiting for an opening to dart to the phone and check his temperature. (Okay, son, stick the phone under your tongue and wait for two minutes...)

This did not bode well for my haircut experience. When she was removing the sideburns (which grow like weeds), she whacked not one but BOTH ears with the clippers, making me yelp both times. After the second time, she looked at me and said "You have sensitive ears" with a straight face.

I said "Well, yes, when they're being _whacked with a metal object_," and that seemed to break through her mental haze momentarily.